Friday, May 26, 2006

Butterfly Sits Through A Blowjob

As enticing as the title may suggest, this happens to be the WORST toilet session of my life, EVER. My toilet time is sacred and no one should ever disrupt this zen. I'm not willing to share my time with anyone, except for that one time in OZ that I had drunk sex in a toilet cubicle made for Hobbits.

I had the runs the other night while clubbing at Room 18, so instead of sitting on toilet seat covers potentially stained with puke, I decided that I'd climb a few stairs out of the club to a more deserted men's room.

When I get there, I think I made the best decision since agreeing with the guys to open 3 bottles of whiskey that night. Posh decor, nice marble flooring that was clean, dry and reflective. It's a page out of Marriott Hotel. The perfect place for me to take a nice quiet dump.

3 mins into my shit, just as I start to unload, I hear people coming in. 2 men giggling wildly like school girls over neo prints, stumbling into the toilet. Then I hear the door to my immediate left cubicle close and the giggles die off alittle. I look down to the ground and see two figures in the same cubicle.

Fuck me in the ass! I'm having front row seats to a gay make out session. That's why the giggles died, the damn Boy Georges are too busy licking each other off to say anything. This is great, the incessant banging on the cubicle door was the perfect constipation pill I needed.

Then suddenly.

Guy: "The guy next door, sorry about this ok? Heeheheehehee" (In Mandarin)

I freeze in my seat, half pulling my pants up to my knees as my eyes fixate on the reflective floor, preparing to give my most demeaning gaze should they peep. I'd have prepared a mouth full of spit had I been more calm at the face of impending adversity on the outrage of my modesty and privacy.

Then it got worst. I hear belts unbuckling, pants hitting the floor, seat covers pulled down and MOANING...

I had about a good 500g of shit that had yet to hit the water and I already felt like running off without cleaning my ass. I had to.. I had to peep. Im such a voyeur it scares me sometimes. The damn reflective floor was dark but I made out the figures of one of them seated while the other knelt infront of him sucking dick like chocolate coated lollipops.

It takes me to the 4th moan to realise I need to get my butt out of there before the foreplay ends and full on banging comes into motion. I run off without washing my hands, then return to the table, related the story, then grab ice from the bucket to calm myself down. It also happens to be the bucket everyone takes ice from. Yippie me, hygiene is obviously not my friend when I'm in sixes.

10 Comments:

At 3:33 AM, Blogger Jack said...

Just your luck, pal.

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

*can't stop laughing*

And they still did all this despite u were around!

You're lucky he didn't say "wanna join in?"

 
At 1:26 AM, Blogger The Butterfly said...

seriously, the gay clubs here is one big sausage grabbing party. thankfully, they have no interest in pretty boys... they like meaty men

 
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