When Idiots Tell Riddles

For as long as I can remember, telling a riddle didn't require any particular skill or flair and was a conversational gateway that had zero barriers of entry. All you need is to be able to speak. Unlike telling a joke where you might need a certain element of comic delivery and animation, giving a riddle is as easy as winning Terry Fox in a long jump.

Apparently, I was wrong.

I was with Yang at a bar a week back and we started making small talk with the waiters. This is fundamental marketing strategy for our work, so I started telling them about a joke Faith had told me earlier in the day.

"One day, a blonde went into an electrical appliance store to buy a TV. So she pointed and said, 'How much for that TV.' and the sales guy said,

'I don't sell to dumb blondes'.

Upset at his remarks, she went home, dyed her hair black and returned the next day.

'How much for that TV?' she asked

'I don't sell to dumb blondes.' the sales guy replied again

Puzzled but equally upset, she went back home for an extreme make over. She cut her hair short, did away with the makeup and changed her dressing. Convinced that the guy would now sell her the TV, she returned.

'How much for that TV?' she asked

'Look lady, I told you I don't sell to dumb blondes!', he replied

Extremely puzzled that he saw through her disguise, she asked, 'How do you know I'm a dumb blonde?'

He replied,

"Cos' that's a microwave!!"

Immediately after the punchline, Yang burst into laughter, but the bartender shot me a blank look, clearly not impressed. Then he shrugged his shoulder,

Bartender: "I don't get it."

So Yang retold the entire joke, deconstructing it for easy digestion then explained the punchline, of which the bartender shrugged his shoulders again, and said.

"I still don't get it."

I frowned at Yang, then we agreed to blame vodka for the slow thought processing.

Bartender: "Let me ask you a riddle. The world is this big (he makes a huge arc with his arms), what is in the centre of the world?"

Me: "The core?"
Bartender: "Nope. The letter L. Cos' it's the centre letter of the word 'world'."

He goes on to laugh and congratulate himself for pulling one over us. It was his redemption, his moment to savour for his juvenile triumph and he was going to be raucous about it with imaginary high fives.

Then it suddenly struck me, like the morning sinus bout. The middle letter in 'world' isn't 'L', it's 'R'!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That's what happens when morons give a riddle, it becomes a joke.