Butterfly Hates Virus

I’m still here. Still not believing in fairytales and still convinced that while love may be great, it still makes people stupid. There won’t be a guided tour of my foray out of misogamy because I believe the last one left an impact already – and I like it when you gawk while reading.

There are more pressing issues I must address. I call it my civic duty, my educational proliferation and I must say I’ve done quite well in the past, teaching you the finer things in life, like laughing at Whales and idiots.

I have to address the current looming bleakness society is facing. No, not the recession because if you haven’t already noticed, there is no such thing as a recession. It is an urban legend to scare people, like the boogeyman, gremlins and Michael Jackson.

I’m referring to the swine flu or commonly known now as the H1N1, which has the epidemic potential to be the no.2 killer in society, after obesity – which coincidentally should also be punishable by mockery.

It concerns me, not because the situation here is exacerbating exponentially, but it concerns me because people are partying a lot less. And with lesser people at a club, it means less beautiful people to look at and an even lesser chance for guys to score a blowjob at the carparks. Thankfully, for the less discerning, there is still Orchard Towers.

It’s a pitiful sight to see the nightlife dwindle to such a state. And all this, I am convinced, is because people are avoiding crowded places because they think it can be potentially fatal. They cannot be more wrong than this.

When the tsunami hit in 2004 and wiped out like a fraction of the human population, I survived. And I did all this by just sitting home surfing the net. You see, death is all predestined. Sure, a few people caught the virus while out partying, but no one has died. And you know why?

It’s because as cruel a tool as fate is, it knows that clubbing is an honest recreational activity and hence it should not be punishable, unlike stupidity and obesity. Sure, they have to be quarantined and they might be in a lot of pain and discomfort, but optimistically looking at it, it’s really an extended sabbatical.

It really was a tragic scene on Saturday night, especially when there was decent trance music spinning after I had like 8 glass of vodka and tequila in me, to see a significant dip in quantity. And equally tragic when I saw two Whales at the podium looking like they were either trying to dance or they were being shot with a taser gun.

It also pains me that the authorities are taking this quarantine issue so seriously and yet they are leaving other socio problems unchecked like, mail order brides from China, increasing demise of smoking areas and fat people.

They are identifying viral infected clusters and isolating it, when what they really should do is ban Whales at buffets and all economy class flights. I’ve never been abreast with the news so I don’t know what the severity of the virus is right now, but I do know that Michael Jackson didn’t die from it so it can’t be that big a deal.

We live only once – nine if you are Catwoman – so I say we should live it without consequence, without reprimand and without inhibitions. People have died living less and giving more, so what’s holding us back on living larger and taking more?

If there is a bottle of vodka next to you, kiss it. After all, people have been telling me that alcohol is a great disinfectant.