Wednesday, February 03, 2010

The Consequence of Luminous Friday

Consequence is like a gay prison cell mate, you don’t want to believe it will come, but sooner or later, he’s going to fuck you in the ass.

When we got past laughing about the Luminous Friday story the day after, which included filling in blanks about what happened and who did what, never did I imagine that the story hadn’t ended with a punctuation.


I did however come to realize how RotiPrata came to have a whole massive roll of toilet paper that would have been enough to wipe every ass in China, in his possession.


To put it simply, alcohol is a vortex of all logical behaviour. Call it an emancipation of rage or surrender of basic motor skills, but it all began when he started having difficulty pulling the paper hand towels, he lost patience and decided the best way was to kick open the contraption and take it altogether.


Then of course, Monday came and it was always a day we would recount the weekend over a morning cigarette and allow consequence to catch up to us, or in most case, deny all of it.


We knew Friday was a carnage of sorts; intemperance of alcohol, school boy misdemeanor, kleptomaniac disclosures and the list runs on, all we needed was an axe murderer and we would have made Fox River Prison look like a kindergarten.


What we didn’t know, was the repercussion of our actions.


First it was a complaint that LB had ruined the pool table’s felt cloth by staining it. This was in addition to him also breaking a cue in what he now refers to as ‘The Longest Pool Game Ever’.


Sure, there were giggles and grins under the guise of condemnation and scorn of his actions. And most definitely, the cost of replacing the felt cloth did send a wave of severity through our cranial receptors, but if there were cause of worry for LB, we lost it somewhere after he tore our shirts.


Then evening came with a phone call. A rude awakening. It was like receiving a voice mail from consequence and it would have sounded like, ‘Haha...”. In reality, it sounded like this,


I don’t know what you muthafuckers did, but your faces are all over the video. And who the fuck broke that paper shit in the toilet?!”


Well apparently, our whole debacle was caught on CCTV. The main star of it being me and my little stunt by the bench, right down to talking to the stone dog. Oh, but I wasn’t alone.


RotiPrata had to top it off by apparently –and I say apparently because we don’t see how that is possible – being caught kicking down the paper hand towel holder and running off with it.


If you actually knew who I was, or what I do, then you’d probably figure out why this is a HUGE problem. So huge, there isn’t even a font size worthy enough to write it in.


RotiPrata
: “What the fuck are we going to do now?”

Me: “How the fuck should I know? Apologise? Fix the bloody hand towel disposer? Do you think thinner is good for getting marker stains out?”


Then after a full evening contemplating what reaction to this would be, which probably included fleeing the country, full cosmetic surgery and blaming alcohol amongst other things, we decided to leave matters to fate.


I met LB and Reznor an hour later.


Me
: “You muthafucker, you ruined a pool table.”
LB
: “I told you all not to ask me to drink already. You see! This is what happens when I drink you fucker!”
Me
: “Ahh, fuck you. Yours isn’t even close to what happened to RotiPrata and me.

LB: “Huh? What happened?
Me
: “Remember our debacle?
LB
: “Ya..”
Me
: “We got caught on CCTV…”


There was a long pregnant silence. His face was priceless. Then,


LB
: “HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”


The great thing was that things took a turn for the better and it all came down to Sunday afternoon champagne brunch that burnt a hole in the wallet to mitigate matters.


LB was so tickled by the fact that the brunch was angled almost like it was a punishment that he spent the days leading up to it in perpetual stitches every time we mentioned it.


Then Sunday came, and it was exactly as how I had imagined it to be; good food and a race to clear out as many bottles of Champagne as we could. It just got so out of hand with ferocious cheers one after another that I had to do what all responsible men would do.


I ran to the toilet to induce puke and I can because I am that awesome. It was also weird because I had so much meat for lunch, it was like I was puking meatballs.


Then 18 bottles of Champagne later, LB was so drunk, he - and I will go about this like a checklist – accomplished it all in one afternoon.

a. Bite someone x 3

b. Volunteered to have his chest hair plucked

c. Threw a glass of water at RotiPrata

d. Threw a full bucket of ice and water at RotiPrata

e. Wrestled to the ground

f. Volunteered to pay for a group hair wash

g. Concussed in the backseat of the car

h. Paid $210 for our hair wash


Don’t you just love alcohol?

13 Comments:

At 7:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

good one! i just added many different emo backgrounds 2 my blog
http://www.emo-backgrounds.info

 
At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Confirmation Our Spiritless Prices at www.Pharmashack.com, The Unequalled [b][url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Online Chemist's burst the whistle on buy [/url][/b] To [url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Buy Viagra[/url] Online ! You Can also Espy Massive Deals When You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/cialis.html]Buy Cialis[/url] and When You You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/levitra.html]Buy Levitra[/url] Online. We Also Fight against in a Stupendous Generic [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/phentermine.html]Phentermine[/url] In shore up of Your Nutriment ! We Huckster Opprobrium bring up [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/viagra.html]Viagra[/url] and Also [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/generic_viagra.html]Generic Viagra[/url] !

 
At 3:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Inform up to the animalistic with two backs casinos? vouch on this advanced [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] spurn and metamorphose believe online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also into our untrained [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] into public detect of snaffle counsel at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and margin corporeal incredibly touched in the prime gifted !
another queer [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] bit is www.ttittancasino.com , because german gamblers, attain a coordinate the unconventional mo = 'modus operandi' in unrestrained online casino bonus.

 
At 12:30 AM, Blogger gin said...

roflmao!! man i had the best laugh in a long time after reading this xD

 
At 12:30 AM, Blogger gin said...

roflmao!! man i had the best laugh in a long time after reading this xD

 
At 5:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This ωebsite сeгtainlу has аll of the іnfοгmation I needed аbout this subject and
didn't know who to ask.

Stop by my web blog :: Payday Loans Online
My web site :: Online Payday oan

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, nike outlet, prada handbags, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors, michael kors outlet, louboutin shoes, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, replica watches, burberry outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, nike air max, nike free, longchamp, replica watches, nike air max, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, louboutin, louis vuitton outlet, burberry, louis vuitton

 
At 3:20 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin pas cher, coach purses, hogan, michael kors, sac longchamp, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, vanessa bruno, abercrombie and fitch, coach outlet, sac guess, hermes, ralph lauren pas cher, coach factory outlet, michael kors, lululemon, nike blazer, nike air max, nike free, ralph lauren uk, air force, new balance pas cher, air jordan pas cher, true religion jeans, converse pas cher, nike roshe, north face, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, michael kors, michael kors, ray ban uk, nike free run uk, oakley pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, timberland, kate spade handbags, tn pas cher, coach outlet, longchamp pas cher, air max, north face, mulberry, burberry, true religion outlet, hollister

 
At 3:22 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

babyliss, north face outlet, north face outlet, giuseppe zanotti, s5 cases, nike roshe, louboutin, baseball bats, valentino shoes, beats by dre, ferragamo shoes, iphone 6 plus cases, ipad cases, bottega veneta, iphone 6s cases, hollister, mont blanc, nike huarache, birkin bag, iphone 6s plus cases, chi flat iron, vans shoes, nfl jerseys, soccer shoes, mcm handbags, hollister, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, timberland boots, lululemon, ralph lauren, new balance, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, jimmy choo shoes, herve leger, nike trainers, reebok shoes, iphone cases, insanity workout, oakley, p90x workout, longchamp, wedding dresses, asics running shoes, iphone 5s cases, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, ghd, mac cosmetics

 
At 3:25 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg boots uk, converse outlet, lancel, gucci, swarovski crystal, hollister, barbour, moncler, nike air max, canada goose outlet, links of london, ugg pas cher, converse, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, barbour jackets, pandora charms, pandora charms, sac louis vuitton pas cher, pandora jewelry, vans, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, swarovski, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, karen millen, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, coach outlet, michael kors outlet online, montre pas cher, michael kors handbags, supra shoes, toms shoes, wedding dresses, moncler, doke gabbana outlet, moncler, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger 艾丰 said...

jianbin1126
michael kors outlet store
cheap oakley sunglasses
nba jerseys wholesale
uggs on sale
michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,michaelkors.com,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors
ralph lauren sale
air jordan shoes
futbol baratas
michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,michaelkors.com,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors
cheap jordans
nhl jerseys wholesale
ugg outlet
north face outlet online
michael kors usa
louis vuitton outlet
cleveland cavaliers
football shirts uk,soccer jerseys uk,cheap soccer jerseys uk
new orleans saints
converse sneakers
michael kors outlet online
oklahoma city thunder
cheap oakley sunglasses
oakley outlet online
snapback hats
christian louboutin
gucci
moncler coats
ugg outlet store
michael kors handbags sale
louis vuitton bags on sale
polo ralph lauren uk

 
At 10:00 AM, Blogger Minko Chen said...

cheap nike shoes
adidas outlet
soccer jerseys wholesale
michael kors handbags
mulberry outlet store
prada outlet
cheap nba jerseys
ralph lauren uk
swarovski crystal
oakley sunglasses wholesale
chanel handbags outlet
ralph lauren outlet
cheap jordan shoes
canada goose coats
toms outlet store
puma outlet
north face outlet store
ugg boots
black friday deals
ugg outlet
1128MINKO

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger mmjiaxin said...

longchamp handbags
nobis jacket
hermes belt for sale
ferragamo outlet
coach outlet store
lululemon pants
michael kors factory store
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet online
abercrombie and fitch
nike mercurial
tiffany outlet
louis vuitton outlet store
michael kors handbags
true religion jeans
mont blanc pens
christian louboutin shoes
mulberry outlet
ralph lauren uk
michael kors factory online
mm1221

 

Post a Comment

<< Home