The Night of Mis-Incidences

Fate is a funny temptress of mis-incidences, so it seems. It sometimes baits us into consequences that we cannot digest without the introduction of embarrassment and monetary losses.

When we set off to party last Friday, it was calendar marked as a day of alcoholic intemperance, citing birthday celebrations as a cause to throw sobriety a rain check. It was going to be one of those nights that the boys were going out in force and at a place where we were going to bump into more familiar faces.

Against a sudden premonition of an impending omen, LB decided against the better judgment of taking a cab down and decided to drive. He was half awake, and I was rushing him to leave the house because I needed to meet Jud there and he finally caved on the inconvenience of flagging down a taxi.

10 mins later, we are in his car singing along to canto pop songs and cruising down the highway at 90km/h. There cannot be a better start to the night than this.

When we got there, we got into a discussion on where he should park. It was only logical that he parked it at Pier Robertson because there was a high chance alcohol was going to incapacitate him and sheltered parking was going to save him the risk of a Saturday morning parking fine from over-zealous attendants.

Then almost like a sign, there was a lot right in front of us by the road side, which offered much closer proximity to Butter Factory and saved us on time from looping back to Pier Robertson. He slotted in and we briskly walked over to find Jud who was waiting for me at the entrance.

It was JL’s birthday and there was, as I was informed prior to this, going to be old school Trance playing. The attire was ‘Rave gear’, of which I naturally didn’t turn up in unlike some of them who actually spent the afternoon combing town for the appropriate clothes and ended up with so much Sylum sticks, that you would think there was a Chingay parade going on inside.

It was a standard affair of whiskey and some clown actually bought a whole bottle of 151. I frowned at the selection of drinks and decided to have a bottle of vodka for myself. 4 glasses in, Faith arrived and LB told us to accompany him to the car to get his cigarettes because he couldn’t bear the sight of Jud smoking Marlboro.

When we got back, the music started getting better, despite the fact that it was nowhere remotely close to being rave music. I got introduced to a whole bunch of people, got handed a couple glasses of champagne and everything was going into intoxication overdrive.

Then suddenly, LB come running back to us while we were outside catching a puff.

LB: “Dude, my car just got burgled!”
Me: “What?!”
LB: “I lost my cigs, my headphones, cash card and speed pass.”
Me: “Holy shit!”

Never would I imagine this ever happening. This was Singapore, the land where crime is at such a low that we can't even have a Superhero. If Batman was living here, he would spend out his nights having supper at Newton.

Me: "Did your windows get smashed?"
LB: "No I forgot to lock the dooor just now, I think."
ME: "Shites!"
LB: “YA! HAHAHAHA! It’s crazy! I need to go make a police report.”

Jud turns to me,

Jud: “For someone that just got burgled, he is taking it awfully lightly.”

This was until he realized that his laptop was also stolen and the consequences to that would spread like wildfire. I was by then already tanked and could not understand the full extent of this problem, and while he ran off to lodge a report, I dashed back in to finish up the other vodka bottle.

I was spiraling out of control, dumping vodka into a full jug of screwdriver, then using it as mixers again and the guys started yelling at me for it. All I knew was that the party had to be continued elsewhere and where else better than Zouk.

By then, I was already developing mild alcoholic amnesia. I couldn’t really remember how we got there, but I remembered ordering another bottle of champagne and then a series of incidences followed. I don’t remember how or why I was reaching out for this girl’s hand, whether it was an introduction or it was to pass her the champagne, but next I know, I’m stroking her hand and there she was smiling at me.

It was weird because when I was actually holding her hands, I was well aware of what I was doing, even if it was mildly uncharacteristic of me to be this sweet while inebriated. I knew for one the flirt was validated because she was someone whom I was attracted to, but the purpose or initiation behind it is still totally lost in me.

Then next thing I know, I am turning to the bar and I see Jud standing next to me with her hands on the champagne bottle. Then it hit me and I began a pace retarded thought process impeded by the injection of alcohol into the brain.

‘Wait a minute. If Jud is here next to me, with her hands on the bottle, then whose hand am I holding? Am I flirting with the correct person? Do I know this girl? Why am I even holding her hands? Wait, did I just flirt with a stranger? Why is she smiling? Wait, was I supposed to be holding Jud’s hand?”

And if I thought things couldn't possibly get more embarrassing than this, then I stand truly corrected, because apparently I am capable of more moronic stuff than I can imagine. Just imagine, someone leaning over to give you one of those chi-chi French cheek pecks and I reading it as her coming over to make out with me.

You cannot imagine how much shock there is when you aim for someone’s cheek and you get a tongue down your mouth instead. I amaze myself all the time.

Somewhere along the line, RoundEyes and Jud started having a conversation with 3 guys. I did not know them and was too intoxicated to even give a fuck about strange men who are half a head taller than me. All I heard was that they were talking about cars and one of them made a snide remark about cars in Singapore.

Me: “Where are you from?”
Him: “Hong Kong.”
Me: “Then why the fuck are you talking about cars when you guys have parking problems?”
Him: “…”
Me: “Go fix your parking problems first then come back and join the conversation on cars.”

Needless to say, the three of them walked off immediately. I quickly turned to RoundEyes,

Me: “Eh, I think I just pissed off your friends.”
RoundEyes: “I don’t know them.”
Me: [I turned to Jud] “I hope they aren’t your friends too, because I might just have caused you to lose them.”

We left shortly after and I was too tired to even be tempted on the thought of supper. I was totally fine in the cab because I distinctly remembered getting into a debate with the cabbie on which was a faster route to my place.

When I got off, everything suddenly starting spinning so badly that I thought I was caught in a tornado. I remembered puking into the drain, crawling up to my front porch and then trying to fit my key into the hole.

Then I woke up the next day and the first thought that came to me; did I just flirt with the wrong person?