That Debate

Sometimes, debates are not meant to be engaged with everyone. Debates are great to have against spastic kids or mutes – let’s face it, there’s only so much can write before they tire -, and should generally be avoided against rappers, people with lisp and Wikipedia enthusiasts.

And as of what I realized some time back, you should also never get into a debate with anyone that is hot; simply because everything they say is right.

If you have me on Facebook, then you would have read my post about the ‘Best Debate Ever’ and would probably be anticipating this post. If you haven’t, then I don’t understand why you bother having Facebook if you don’t have me on it.

So there I was sitting at a bar counter alone when this girl very randomly struck up a conversation.

She: “Is that ALL you are having? A Red Bull?”

I looked up and saw what was probably the hottest girl within a 7 mile radius. She was tan, had immaculately sharp features and her face was radiating so much awesomeness it would have blinded Stevie Wonder.

All this girl needed, was to hold up two fried chicken wings and you would still think she was an angel. Seldom will anyone halt me with a reply for 2 seconds just by flickering her eyes, but she was so amazing, she could out do Helen of Troy and set off a million spaceships from across the galaxy with just one smile, and all that without any communications aid from Singtel.

We got into a debate over the marketing proficiency of Red Bull and I threw in a whole bunch of technicalities over the differentiation between the gold can Red Bull and the Blue/Silver one from Austria.

I would bring up taste differences and she would harp on the similar names. I would pull up historical beginnings and she would question the need for a lawsuit over the brand. I would point out that they are essentially two very different products and she would eye me with enough skepticism as if to accuse eunuchs of smuggling condoms.

If you know me personally, then you will know that I am as proficient with my tongue as I am with my writings, so to entirely drown me out in a debate is quite a remarkable feat by any merit means. That is of course unless you are hot, then I truly do not see a need to disagree with anything you say.

She was that pretty to me that I honestly couldn’t care less if she said Red Bull looks better in Pink or that Michael Jackson is actually Osama under all that prosthetic shit. She could have said that the Sun was our next optional planet to live on once Earth is destroyed, and I would still have thought that it would be a great idea.

Then about 5 minutes into the conversation, I started realizing that she bore an uncanny resemblance to a celebrity.

Me: “So when was the last time you been to a club?”
She: “I’m not in Singapore much.”
Me: “You’re not local?”
She: “I am but I’ve been overseas a lot..”

Then it hit me. I was having a debate with…