Monday, February 23, 2009

The Dating Showhand

Is dating no longer a journey of discovery?

As time comes to lay claim to my youth and society sheds its pseudo exo-skeletal of conservatism in favour of liberal pursuits, I’ve come to realize that dating is no longer a passage of chance and discovery of partners, but instead, it’s now a deliberate display of limitations and flaws.

Through time as my notoriety spreads and my face becomes increasingly familiar, I find a lack in the need for me to properly introduce myself. It’s gone from,

Hi, my name is Butterfly. I am an asshole, I have short attention spans, no morals and no emotions. Commitments irritate me and expectations crumble me. If you are fat and stupid, you will be laughed at.”


Hi, my name is Butterfly, but you already know me. Are we hooking up?”

This was great for me because people already knew what to expect from me, and I always believed that honesty was the best foundation for any form of dating to be built on. It worked so well that 4 years on, I still remain single.

Yet of late, women too, are no longer contented to taking a leap of faith. Instead, we weave in our shortcomings in parabolic quips and anecdotal instances. We comment on our flaws blatantly to sift the eligibles from the generic improbable. We now play out our flaws and expectations like a game of poker, waiting to see who folds up first.

It’s almost like a filtering process where we say, “Here are my issues. Let’s date if you are fine by them”. And there I was thinking that contractual dates with a time expiry was something only I would propose. Then some time back, I found myself negotiating on dating terms.

It all started when she whined about lack of eligible men who would break her mould of boring pencil pushers. This was over a glass of Bellini and I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that she was having a drink with me and yet I wasn’t even considered.

I raised my hand in mock protest and questioned how she could ever have excluded me in her list when wit and humour played considerable catalytic nods in her choice of men.

She: “That’s because you are a very confusing guy. I think you are a very nice guy, but I also think you are a player. Which are you?”

On the one part, one testimonial of me sending a drunk friend home and not exploiting the situation -despite her having her hands all over me and her tongue very nearly in my aural orifices -, changed her perception of me. This was despite the fact that I explained that morals and chivalry had nothing to do with it, but only because she was drunk and I was worried she was going to chug on me.

I have no restraints when it comes to kissing hot women, and promptly assured her that if the girl was sober, I would have fucked her. I do not have that much integrity to de-track the advances of attractive women.

Me: “I’m definitely not nice.”

Then almost as if a defense mechanism kicked in, we started a list of anti-dating campaigns that would make Cupid turn in his grave.

She: “I’m not looking for anything long term, cos I’m leaving.”
Me: “It sits well with me that commitment is not your thing.”

At one point it spilled over to horoscopes, which I have no clue on as to the zodiac compatibilities because in my world, compatibility is measured in cup sizes, sex drive, dancing ability and choice of music.

And it’s an unorthodox exchange because in conventional dating, the right approach would be to impress, compliment shamelessly and then throw in a good dose of deception. Oh, we all know half the shit people say while they are trying to court a person only stays true till after the honeymoon period ends. It’s called a relationship life-cycle.

Yet, this has become strangely familiar to me. If I’m not keeping my distance and reminding people how much of an ass I can be, then it is them telling me how unpredictable and demanding they will be if we started dating.

It works like this,

Girl: “I need a lot of attention.”
Me: “I need a lot of space and time alone.”
Girl: “I need to know where my man is at all times.”
Me: “I hate having to report to anyone on my schedule.”

If I didn’t know better, I’d say we were made for each other. Whoever said relationships are built on differences is a moron and probably has a girlfriend with such enormous tits that it is solely sustaining the relationship.

The day it sags to her knees is the day he is going to realize that, that was the dumbest quote in history. Topped only by that Subaru challenge winner years ago who when asked what was his secret to winning said, “I realized it’s not about mental determination. It’s about keeping your hands there”. Wow Sherlock, we never realized that.

Has dating really degenerated into a state of being able to digest your partner’s flaws? Or is this just a disclaimer, to reject all future blames by simply saying, ‘I told you so’. We are taking out the joys and perils of discovery and injecting it with predictability and honesty.

Hi, my name is Butterfly. And this is what I can offer..


At 5:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

likewise, I think you are projecting yourself as an asshole only because you do not want people to think good of you or women to like you. and yet something about you is captivating as your blog is addictive.

At 9:26 PM, Blogger (T) (H) (B) said...

means nothing lor.. haha

At 4:37 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Burberry Factory, The North Face Outlet, Coach Outlet, Barbour Outlet, Abercrombie & Fitch Sale, Burberry Outlet, Chanel Outlet Online, Calvin Klein Clothes, Gucci Bags Outlet, Marc Jacobs Handbags, MCM Outlet, Gucci Shoes Outlet, Kate Spade Outlet, Louis Vuitton Outlet, Louis Vuitton Shoes Outlet, Tommy Hilfiger Outlet Store,Michael Kors Outlet Online,Moncler Clearance, North Face Jackets Clearance, North Clearace Outlet, Oakley Sunglaases Factory, Michael Kors Outlet, Prada Shoes Outlet, Polo Outlet Store, Polo Outlet Store, Ralph Lauren T Shirts, Longchamp Outlet, Coach Factory Outlet Online, Barbour Jackets Outlet Online, Beats By Dre Outlet, Ralph Lauren UK, Ugg Boots Outlet, Nike Jordan Shoes,Coach Store OnlineMoncler Jackets Outlet Online, Polo Outlet Online,Salvatore Ferragamo Outlet,Tommy Hilfiger Outlet,North Face Jackets Clearance,Ugg Boots Clearance,Tory Burch Handbag Outlet,Uggs Boots Outlet,Discount Ugg Boots

At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

2015-10-22 xiaozhengm
canada goose outlet usa
Nike Lebron James Shoes For Sale
Michael Kors Outlet Discount Purses Online
michael kors outlet
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet online
Michael Kors Factory Outlet Online Official
Louis Vuitton Outlet Factory Online
Air Jordan 3 "Infrared 23"
Cheap Real Louis Vuitton Handbags
coach outlet online
Louis Vuitton Backpack Purse
cheap ugg boots
Authentic Coach Factory Outlet Online
michael kors outlet
Abercrombie & Fitch Kids Clothing
ralph lauren polo outlet
coach factory outlet
Outlet Michael Kors Online
michael kors uk
uggs clearance
Michael Kors Online Store Outlet
Air Jordan Shoes For Women And Men
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet
ugg boots outlet
Ugg Boots,Ugg Boots Outlet,Ugg Outlet,Cheap Uggs,Uggs On Sale,Ugg Boots Clearance,Uggs For Women
ugg boots
Air Jordan 4 Green Glow
Coach Factory Online Outlet Cheap Purses
Polo Ralph Lauren Factory Outlet
louis vuitton outlet
coach factory outlet
michale kors outlet
cheap jerseys

At 2:34 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, nike outlet, prada handbags, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors, michael kors outlet, louboutin shoes, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, replica watches, burberry outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, nike air max, nike free, longchamp, replica watches, nike air max, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, louboutin, louis vuitton outlet, burberry, louis vuitton

At 2:39 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin pas cher, coach purses, hogan, michael kors, sac longchamp, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, vanessa bruno, abercrombie and fitch, coach outlet, sac guess, hermes, ralph lauren pas cher, coach factory outlet, michael kors, lululemon, nike blazer, nike air max, nike free, ralph lauren uk, air force, new balance pas cher, air jordan pas cher, true religion jeans, converse pas cher, nike roshe, north face, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, michael kors, michael kors, ray ban uk, nike free run uk, oakley pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, timberland, kate spade handbags, tn pas cher, coach outlet, longchamp pas cher, air max, north face, mulberry, burberry, true religion outlet, hollister

At 2:44 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

babyliss, north face outlet, north face outlet, giuseppe zanotti, s5 cases, nike roshe, louboutin, baseball bats, valentino shoes, beats by dre, ferragamo shoes, iphone 6 plus cases, ipad cases, bottega veneta, iphone 6s cases, hollister, mont blanc, nike huarache, birkin bag, iphone 6s plus cases, chi flat iron, vans shoes, nfl jerseys, soccer shoes, mcm handbags, hollister, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, timberland boots, lululemon, ralph lauren, new balance, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, jimmy choo shoes, herve leger, nike trainers, reebok shoes, iphone cases, insanity workout, oakley, p90x workout, longchamp, wedding dresses, asics running shoes, iphone 5s cases, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, ghd, mac cosmetics

At 2:47 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg boots uk, converse outlet, lancel, gucci, swarovski crystal, hollister, barbour, moncler, nike air max, canada goose outlet, links of london, ugg pas cher, converse, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, barbour jackets, pandora charms, pandora charms, sac louis vuitton pas cher, pandora jewelry, vans, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, swarovski, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, karen millen, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, coach outlet, michael kors outlet online, montre pas cher, michael kors handbags, supra shoes, toms shoes, wedding dresses, moncler, doke gabbana outlet, moncler, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

cheap nfl jersey
michael kors canada
tiffany outlet
moncler outlet
bottega veneta outlet
hollister clothing
ray-ban sunglasses
nba jerseys
ralph lauren outlet
uggs outlet
ugg boots
chanel handbags outlet
uggs outlet
fitflops outlet sale
north face outlet
nike free 5
mac cosmetics
hollister canada
wedding dresses uk
north face jackets

At 9:51 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

abercrombie and fitch
canada goose jackets
air jordan 4
swarovski jewelry
nike free
tiffany outlet
mont blanc pens
chicago blackhawks
links of london jewellery
true religion outlet
michael kors uk
tiffany outlet
beats by dre
adidas wings shoes
nike trainers
christian louboutin outlet
michael kors outlet online
celine outlet online
ugg boots clearance,ugg australia,uggs on sale,ugg slippers,uggs boots,uggs outlet,ugg boots,ugg,uggs
tiffany and co

At 2:43 PM, Blogger said...

ray ban sunglasses
tods shoes
louis vuitton outlet
kobe shoes 11
louis vuitton outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
marc jacobs
cheap jordans
gucci outlet
louis vuitton
cheap oakleys
ray bans
coach outlet store online
jordan 3 infrared
michael kors outlet
tods outlet
louis vuitton bags
toms outlet
adidas ultra boost
nike sb shoes
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin shoes
louis vuitton handbags
adidas trainers
abercrombie & fitch
pandora jewelry
coach outlet store online
polo ralph lauren
christian louboutin outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
air jordans
adidas shoes
hollister clothing
ray bans
cartier watches
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet
jordan 8s


Post a Comment

<< Home