Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Friday Scuffle

In life there are things that should never be mixed, like heels and champagne, obesity and bikinis, North Korea and nuclear warheads amongst many other, and as of couple Fridays back, ego and alcohol.

Oh, but we've already known that too well as witnessed by the obscene amount of fights that have broken out in clubs. And I say obscene not because I think it's complete childish - God forbid, it makes great entertainment value, second only to midget wrestling - , but because fights in real life are never as glamourous as Hollywood depicts.

It's always messy, we never get that picture perfect still shot of a knockout and it ends way too fast. Rocky Balboa looked like he could take a punch from every one in China and still have a Kentucky Fried Chicken before he goes down for the count.

It all started at the toilet for me where I was unceremoniously cut at the queue by a girl. And because I am brilliant at deducing the situation, I figured that if this came down to a fist fight, I would have a substantial advantage over her lithe 40 odd kg frame and plus I hadn't file my nails all day.

Me: "Wah! You just cut my queue!"

She turns around, clearly inebriated and has no idea what I am saying. She wouldn't have anyway to begin with even if she was sober because she wasn't local. And if it wasn't because she was actually pretty and could probably know Wushu, I would have challenged her to a round of Chinese chess for the rights to the toilet.

Me: "Oh it's okay. You guys don't queue to begin with."

So I got out back out to find the guys at the bar, ready to palaver my little tale of friction when all of the sudden, I am hit at the side of my face. I turn, clutch my face and exclaim loudly to the first guy I see. He pays me no attention. Instead, he starts yelling at D2.

I stand there clueless as to what is going on while the guy yells away. I hear juvenile key phrases like, "you bump into me" and "never say sorry" and I start looking around the club frantically hoping to see Ekin Cheng and Jordan Chan pop up from the crowd, cued with techno Canto pop and gang cheers.

The next thing I know, another guy comes over stark raving mad and throws in huge words like, "loser" and "poor" and then starts boasting about being a lawyer. I do not get to drink anything during this 5 minutes of yelling, but I am generally amused by it.

Apparently, everything that the two guys have done is scripted - probably down to what vulgarities they were planning to use because the first guy looked like he would normally have problems saying his name without thinking.

It was a script formed from a thick plot of spurned love, a bruised ego, revenge and a lot cauldron full of inmaturity. It's something a TVB drama would have been if all their actors were 12 years old.

So it was revenge. D2 had been the subject for this aggrevation and his reaction would have been the bait for a full on violence had he not kept his cool and read the situation. RotiPrata had gone out to the smoking deck where they were, to settle things with security.

Bystander: "You okay?"
D2: "You want to start also issit?!"

The guy was livid but it was hilarious because it seemed for a moment, that wrath had eroded all sense of clarity in D2 and he would have killed even Big Bird if it tired to pacify him.

Bystander: "What the fuck?! I just asked if you are okay?!"

I would have have giggled myself to death if it didn't look like another fight might break out from this. Immediately, the bystander's friend started talking to me.

Friend: "Hey, tell your friend to chill lah.."

I would have replied him if I wasn't laughing to badly.

When we got out to the smoking deck, the first guy that hit D2 had suddenly surrendered into an apologetic lump of gutlessness. At first I thought that RotiPrata might have sliced off his testicles with an amonia laced letter opener, then I realized how absurd the whole debacle had adulterated itself into.

Apparently, the first guy who had hit D2, had in his drunken stupor, vitiated his claim against D2 by confessing that he had thrown a punch. On the other hand, the second guy who had instigated the whole affair continued his yelling, which were like stand up comedy punchlines.

2nd Guy: "You are a fucking loser. You are poor. I am rich. I am a lawyer! Just remember that when you kiss her, you are tasting my dick!"

I think the only thing he missed out was 'my daddy has a bigger gun than your daddy. I don't want to friend you'. And then he got dragged out, because he had a friend who is a self-confessing moron that made Forrest Gump look like Ari Gold.

Bystander and his friend comes by again and tries to appease everyone. Yang, who had been quiet all night turns to the friend.

Yang: "I know you.."
Friend: "Oh? Where from?"
Yang: "You look familiar.. you look like someone... that I want to punch the face in because..."

And there was a long pause. I was half expecting a joke at the end of it that would have ended with us giving high fives and chest bumping, but no. There was nothing but contempt that lay ahead, but this was what the guy said in retaliation.

Friend: "Eh.. why your friend like that! I'm hurt by what he just said. I was just trying to be nice and then he come and say such things."

I don't know if he was a Catholic church alter boy or a gay manicurist by day, but I laughed so hard, I barely had strength to hold my cigarette. Where are the Hollywood fights when you need one?

9 Comments:

At 3:32 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, nike outlet, prada handbags, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors, michael kors outlet, louboutin shoes, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, replica watches, burberry outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, nike air max, nike free, longchamp, replica watches, nike air max, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, louboutin, louis vuitton outlet, burberry, louis vuitton

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin pas cher, coach purses, hogan, michael kors, sac longchamp, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, vanessa bruno, abercrombie and fitch, coach outlet, sac guess, hermes, ralph lauren pas cher, coach factory outlet, michael kors, lululemon, nike blazer, nike air max, nike free, ralph lauren uk, air force, new balance pas cher, air jordan pas cher, true religion jeans, converse pas cher, nike roshe, north face, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, michael kors, michael kors, ray ban uk, nike free run uk, oakley pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, timberland, kate spade handbags, tn pas cher, coach outlet, longchamp pas cher, air max, north face, mulberry, burberry, true religion outlet, hollister

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

babyliss, north face outlet, north face outlet, giuseppe zanotti, s5 cases, nike roshe, louboutin, baseball bats, valentino shoes, beats by dre, ferragamo shoes, iphone 6 plus cases, ipad cases, bottega veneta, iphone 6s cases, hollister, mont blanc, nike huarache, birkin bag, iphone 6s plus cases, chi flat iron, vans shoes, nfl jerseys, soccer shoes, mcm handbags, hollister, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, timberland boots, lululemon, ralph lauren, new balance, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, jimmy choo shoes, herve leger, nike trainers, reebok shoes, iphone cases, insanity workout, oakley, p90x workout, longchamp, wedding dresses, asics running shoes, iphone 5s cases, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, ghd, mac cosmetics

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg boots uk, converse outlet, lancel, gucci, swarovski crystal, hollister, barbour, moncler, nike air max, canada goose outlet, links of london, ugg pas cher, converse, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, barbour jackets, pandora charms, pandora charms, sac louis vuitton pas cher, pandora jewelry, vans, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, swarovski, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, karen millen, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, coach outlet, michael kors outlet online, montre pas cher, michael kors handbags, supra shoes, toms shoes, wedding dresses, moncler, doke gabbana outlet, moncler, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada

 
At 9:10 AM, Blogger mmjiaxin said...

omega outlet
rolex uk
nike running shoes
tods shoes
michael kors handbags clearance
longchamp handbags
ugg boots on sale
cheap ray ban sunglasses
fitflops outlet sale
louis vuitton bags
michael kors outlet online
oakley sunglasses wholesale
chicago blackhawks
tiffany jewellery
air jordan 13
ugg boots
thomas sabo outlet
michael kors wallet sale
cheap jordan shoes
longchamp handbags outlet
mm1221

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

christian louboutin uk, louis vuitton, kate spade outlet, christian louboutin, jordan shoes, christian louboutin shoes, longchamp outlet, nike free, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, tiffany and co, uggs outlet, replica watches, chanel handbags, nike air max, nike air max, gucci handbags, longchamp outlet, ugg boots, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet online, prada outlet, prada handbags, polo outlet, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, ray ban sunglasses, uggs outlet, ugg boots, burberry handbags, nike outlet, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

michael kors outlet, abercrombie and fitch uk, jordan pas cher, longchamp pas cher, ray ban pas cher, converse pas cher, polo lacoste, hollister uk, nike blazer pas cher, air max, nike tn, michael kors, polo ralph lauren, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, replica handbags, hollister pas cher, sac hermes, nike free uk, true religion outlet, new balance, michael kors pas cher, ray ban uk, nike air max, timberland pas cher, guess pas cher, hogan outlet, nike roshe run uk, michael kors, louboutin pas cher, mulberry uk, sac longchamp pas cher, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, true religion jeans, coach outlet store online, lululemon canada, coach purses, burberry pas cher, north face uk, nike free run, oakley pas cher, kate spade, coach outlet, ralph lauren uk, sac vanessa bruno, nike roshe, nike air force, north face, vans pas cher

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

instyler, hollister clothing, beats by dre, s6 case, nike roshe run, nike huaraches, ralph lauren, new balance shoes, oakley, iphone cases, bottega veneta, iphone 6 plus cases, nfl jerseys, abercrombie and fitch, nike air max, babyliss, north face outlet, herve leger, iphone 6 cases, insanity workout, ghd hair, asics running shoes, valentino shoes, nike trainers uk, hermes belt, longchamp uk, soccer jerseys, vans outlet, jimmy choo outlet, giuseppe zanotti outlet, hollister, celine handbags, wedding dresses, baseball bats, ipad cases, iphone 6s cases, mac cosmetics, mont blanc pens, timberland boots, north face outlet, p90x workout, iphone 5s cases, louboutin, lululemon, mcm handbags, iphone 6s plus cases, reebok outlet, chi flat iron, ferragamo shoes, soccer shoes

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg,uggs,uggs canada, ray ban, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, thomas sabo, canada goose, moncler, moncler uk, converse outlet, canada goose uk, moncler outlet, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton, karen millen uk, converse, swarovski crystal, louis vuitton, vans, canada goose, canada goose outlet, replica watches, lancel, moncler outlet, canada goose jackets, barbour, ugg pas cher, hollister, louis vuitton, moncler, marc jacobs, canada goose, pandora charms, pandora uk, ugg uk, swarovski, hollister, juicy couture outlet, moncler, supra shoes, wedding dresses, moncler, coach outlet, montre pas cher, canada goose outlet, nike air max, pandora jewelry, barbour uk, canada goose outlet, ugg, pandora jewelry, gucci

 

Post a Comment

<< Home