Monday, August 22, 2005

The Rules of Engagement

To be honest, the rules are made up through time as we learn from haunting errors of our past. No we aren't repenting and giving up fishing, its too good a hobby for now. Call it a correctional facilitation if you may.

Saturday night fishing at Chinablack was what I considered a classroom lesson, revising us on the 101's of fishing. The basics of which we totally skipped and are now paying the price. The players answering the call of duty was Pappy (lead fisherman for the night), Reznor, MJ ( a padawan, seduced by our dark arts) and me.

Apart from Rule no.1 about the Queues at clubs and entry before 11.30, the rule coined tonight was "if u like, approach yourself". Pappy is ON FIRE. He is the man carrying the team tonight. MJ our dear padawan is still fresh at the sport and is reserved for now. Reznor is hooking up with a couple of Malay girls so he's pretty much detached from us. We don't join him cos the that group is un-wingmanable. Nothing racist here folks. I still celebrate Racial Harmony day religiously every year, and I eat Mee Soto and Prata at least once a week.

Pappy was shot down. We figured the approach was too hasty. He totally skipped the basic rules of eye contact and smiling and went straight for the drinks bribery section.

Me: "So what did u ask them?"
Pappy: "Do u guys wanna drink"
Me: "You got their names?"
Pappy: "Nope didn't ask."
Me: "What the...? u didn't intro? '
Pappy: "Nope, must I?"

I'm pretty bad with the whole pickup business or antics, but I think the basics of any engagement is to first know your enemy. Whatever it was, Pappy had loads of balls cos he stepped up for MJ to talk to this girl with a whole bunch of "butchers". She's probably twisted herself too so I wasn't too keen on the idea.

Pappy repeated the mistakes again throughout the night. I don't know if it was cos he was half hearted in asking that he brushed off the entire fucking introductory module, or he just didn't think trivial introduction was worth the time.

Pappy: "Wanna drink?"
Twisted girl with butches: "I'm fine, thanks"
Pappy: *walks off*

We agreed that we shouldn't be doing anyone else's deeds cos if the interest isn't there, the conversations end pretty fast.

I looked at Reznor who was getting it on with the Malay girl. He introduced her. I looked at her and my scan stopped at her mouth. I had found Ronaldinho's sister. I'll swear on the uncanny resemblance. It's not even funny and I was not even scanning to her boobs anymore.

An okay pussy is better than no pussy, but no pussy is better than bad pussy.