The Phuket Escape - Pt 4

If there was a sure recipe to concoct disaster, it’s putting yourself smack middle of two ladies who have credence that I’m their acquired property for the night. Yes, I know I’m dangling myself thin with casual smiles and occasional teases, but these are ascribed traits of a Butterfly.

I’ve never felt more uncomfortable entering a club with a girl trailing behind me than then. I was dragging Jolie to meet Aniston. One way or another, tension was going to mount beyond my control.

As soon as I got in, I saw B still rooted to the spot I left her. I glanced to LB who quickly took cue and pushed Pai into the dance floor while I pretended to be pre-occupied with getting drinks. Without the slightest re-acknowledgement, B quickly wrapped her arms around my waist.

15 mins later, B’s friend ditches her and she’s left in my custody. For which I took to be inclusive of lodging, a good back rub and lucid bedtime stories. That was the calm before the storm..

5 mins on, someone tugged very hard at my hair. I turned to see Pai staring angrily at me.

Pai: “Many girls huh you..”

I feigned ignorance, then replied with a weary grin.

Pai sashayed down from where she stood before circling B, almost as if sizing her up. Her eyes scanned her viciously, then the mandatory ‘accidental’ brush before mumbling some gibberish Thai, which I shall assume to be hexes.

Pai: “I heart-broken!”
Me: “I know...”

Cold and heartless as ever but a quiet compunction that it had to come to this. LB was the sheath to my wild demeanor and the almost perfect wingman to keep this debacle from entirely collapsing.

I was the epicenter of what normal would be the envy of many. A buffet of girls at my picking, but only this time I had to digest only one. I had almost everything I desired. The only thing was a conflict between actual desire and which would I derive a higher marginal gratification.

To begin with, I’m only passably attracted to Pai, but if a way a person grooves is a yardstick to bedroom prowess, then my scale was tipped by a feather and a slice of Godiva chocolate in her favour.

B on the other hand, was much more attractive. Fair, sharp nose, and teeth built for Japanese porn-stars. The only thing that kept me from showing open affection was my disapproval of the way she danced, which at some point looked like she was doing the Hokie Pokie.

Me: “We’re leaving..”
LB: “I’ll go back at 4.30.. so do what you need to.”

Surely this had to be a turning point. Well, in any other story it is, but this is me. You’ve sat through enough graphic parodies of my hook ups to know that SELDOM does anything go on without a glitch.

The Bedroom Story

It’s almost an unspoken consensual that going back to a guy’s hotel means one thing. Play Scrabble and watch re-runs of Desperate House Wives. Well, for some of you it is, perhaps, but in my world, the clothes should come off just after the door. I love being me.

Then it goes bad.

Somewhere in between gasping for air and removing my socks, she kills the mood with an ass-whooping deserving question.

B: “You want sex of you want love?”

What the fuck is this? Jeopardy? What fuck of a question is this? I’ll take sex for $500.

Me: “Sex.”

The answer must have caught her off-guard cos she starred wide eyed at me in near disbelieve. My money is on that she’s probably never met anyone as directly honest as me before, and she’d probably never will.

B: “And what about love?!”
Me: “Are you coming over to Singapore?”
B: “No…”
Me: “Yup.. then it’s ‘Sex’ ”

She must have been very pleased with my answer cos she rewarded me with a slap to the chest and some hysterically nonsense that had the words, “are you joking…”.

B: “I think I like you a lot…”

I took this as cue to resume duties. I placed my hands gently on her shoulders, my fingers stroked and teased her collarbone.

B: “When you walk in you know.. I see you.. but I shy.”

I moved my face close to her, my breath warm against her face.

B: "Maybe you stay 3 more days? ok?"
Me: "We'll see.."
B: “I know you want sex… but I period.”

I tilted my head so that her ear lobes came within an inch. I nibbled. The cold flesh rolled between my tongue. Then I whispered,

Me: “Up to you..”

And that was it. The tease ended. I pushed myself up, my fingers running down her cleavage to the navel, then slithered off her thighs. My bait was cast, yet I expected nothing, for the voracity for the thrill had ended almost as abruptly as it started. Undeniably, my utopian forecast had been lying next to her panting, sweaty and well satisfied, but even the greatest fall from time to time.

To built Rome again, would be to run back to salvage the burnt bridges of Pai or alternatively, I could have ran down the street with a banner that read, “Picked the wrong chick, need rebound”.

I turned round to pick the socks up.

B: “You don’t want sex?”
Me: “Up to you..”

I continued clearing the bed of my used clothes. Then she exploded onto me. The closet wild child, tugging fiercely at my top and forcefully plastering her lips on mine. I peeled her clothes off. The top, the bra, the skirt, the panties..

Me: “WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!”

No, it’s not a dick, but if you view it at this perspective, I guess a sanitary pad inked with specks of blood isn’t such an awful greeting.

Me: “You’re REALLY having your period?”

She nodded. I guess being honest isn’t solely attributed to Singaporeans and all this while I thought of it as a ploy to chalk up excuses not to have sex.

Half an hour on, one missed call and 2 Travel Mates later, I’m living out my Utopian prediction.

I made a quick excuse to leave the room to return Jeang’s missed call. Immersed in trance music, a potential cat fight and one girl sitting on my bed, I had forgotten about my dormant desire to snag Jeang and now she’s telling me she’d wanted to spend my last night here with me.

This was going to be an almost impossible feat given that B was well prepared to spend the night with me and perhaps with the right visa, an eternity. I tried everything from,

“Are you sure you’d be ok if LB comes back here to sleep?” and,
“LB sleeps naked” to “I think your friend might be worried.”

And cos the room still had Huixx and Nikki’s stuff, even LB’s attempt of, “Those are his girlfriend’s stuff”, was greeted with a morale breaking. “I don’t care”.

With the Jeang dream fast fleeting and LB snoring away two body lengths from me, I decided to cap my night by accomplishing a task on my checklist. The contents of which might not be too appropriate but it’s now a joke amongst those that know.

Yes, I’ve been very naughty..