Butterfly Returns

If clubbing is all about looking good and getting people to buy you drinks, I'm making it my staple weekly diet. Wait.. it already is.

I had like shit loads of free drinks tonite without even prostituting myself. Yes, the guys reading this who know me OH SO WELL, I swear I didn't even pitch the idea of juice to anyone. People are getting smarter, they know who deserves to be rewarded.

1. I had 4 different people giving me free drinks. The only thing from making this a Hollywood porn production is that the 4 who were smart enough, were GUYS.

I had 2 whiskey shots courtesy of some Indian dude, who absolutely loved the way I dance. I don't care if the drinks are spiked. Anything that is free is void of caution and deserves at least 4 glasses of my attention.

Naturally I played the "oh I can't take so much liqour" card and once he handed me the shot, I gulped it like Jap starlets to semen.

IndianMan: "Wow.. I said half half..."
Me: "What? Oh I didn't hear that."

Some other guy was so intrigued by my shuffle he kept urging me to dance.

Me: "It takes whisky to get me moving again."

A minute later, he comes back with a glass

He: "Will Vodka be ok?"

2. A group of Indonesian girls tried to hit on a slightly tipsy me.

Indo: "My friend here wants to know you."
Me: "She's the cutest you have?!"

They seemed very excited over my comment, cos one of them started screaming at me. I heard words like "FUCK YOU" and "Who do you think you are". I think she was pissed cos I didn't offer her my seat.

Not like I cared. None of them were anywhere near 'Fuckable' range, except for one but she was wearing some horrible looking denim berms that Levi's would have flipped in his grave over. Well,the only reason they actually came over was because I smiled at them, unintentionally.

3. I messed up the toilet cubicle and I blamed it on someone else.

MissSeptember called and I was trying to pull my zipper down and things just went wrong from there. Oh, and I spewed a little, onto the seat. This guy was outside waiting for the cubicle and I told him,

Me: "You DO NOT want to go in there. Some asshole messed it up."

He thanked me for the caution with a pat on the back. I couldn't stop giggling for being such a liar.

4. I saw an old nemesis. Kay, the crazy bitch. The one person who traumatized me so badly I stayed away from sex for 3 days.

We had a cordial exchange of words and I bailed shortly after cos her boobs looked like they shrank significantly.