Sunday, January 14, 2007

The School Uniform Party

There’s only truly one way to engage a school uniform party and that is with a dose of insanity and alot of eyeliner. While everyone else was dressed in reminiscence to that dreaded uniformed school outfits, attached with an extensive list of do’s and don’ts, I decided to take the night by the balls.

I was going in a RGS pinafore.

Yes, if you were at ButterFactory on Saturday night and you saw two guys in pinafore, I was the prettier one; the one in eyeliner, painted nails and shuffling in a skirt. The other one with the dreadfully short skirt and hair-band, is Pappy. You’d not have missed us if you were there for the event. The other one in my group with a skirt was Poks but at a glance, it’d have passed off fittingly as baggy berms.

For the entire night, I had guys squeezing my tits, trying to lift my skirt, wolf whistle at me and deservingly, offered free drinks. Random girls came up to ask for photos to be taken with us, some to offer tips on how to wear my uniform and others to comment on how good I looked.

Blame it on the intoxicating trance that was playing for the first 2 hrs, but I didn’t take compliments or small talk from girls anywhere further than a curtsy and the obligatory “thanks”.

I’d take the chance to make amends then. The one girl who told me I was cute, I thought you were cute too, but fatigue and smudge eyeliner does a lot to my reciprocation of compliments and my will to engage anyone in pillow talk.

You’d imagine how much attention Pappy and I commanded if you took us out of context. Most of the patrons outside had no idea what was brewing inside and they were casting me horrific glances each time I walked out.

Yes, I’m the prettiest thing that night to pee standing up.

Then I bumped into Nikki who went in her volleyball uniform and she thought I was absolutely nuts. So did everyone else, but that’s an integral part of being me, amidst all the cheeky misdemeanor, induced melancholy and whiskey bottles . I can’t say I dislike attention and I won’t say being in a dress gets you positive vibes, cos I had people shooting me castigating stare, but nothing beats standing out.

I’d have charged an audience for shuffling on stage at the request of owners and for the guys who kept feeling my tits. Had I known how iconic Pappy and I were for the night, I’d have demanded an obeisance for anyone even desiring to pour us a drink. For a free tequila shot, I’d have sold myself to be a mascot

What I didn’t appreciate were people taking random snapshots of us, from across the room or the table adjacent us. Almost all of these people were girls and I’d have obliged a photo even if they weren’t hot, just so that I can look prettier.

Random spots for that night.

1. Toilet incidents

Me: “Let me pull out my imaginary dick.”

I said this while standing next to a guy at the urinal. He laughed so hard he forgot to wash his hands. In addition, I peed on my skirt twice.

2. Pick ups

Guy: “Shit dude, we thought you were a girl.”
Me: “Skirt on or skirt off?”

Apparently some people actually thought I was a real girl from far. This group of girls started giggling when they came near me and one of them said,

Girl: “Hahaa.. you look like a girl.. hahaha.. from far.”

I laughed my ass off then told RoundEyes who was in some Canadian School uniform, about it.

3. Martell Air Stewardess

2 models came dressed as air stewardess to hand out exclusive invites to the Martell party. While I actually already have them, I never pass off a chance to hit on people with extremely sharp features.

Not knowing they were promoters, Pappy, Poks and I stood right in front of them and I pointed to my dress. They laughed then came over for an introduction.

I’m not sure if her name is Michelle, cos I was already slightly tipsy and ready to pee beer, but she was the hottest thing in the club. Long curling locks with a face immaculately sharp, she was a template for the kind of girls that make me go weak and turn me nice. I have a picture with her which I will post along with the others.

Me: “Can I go dress like that?”
Her:Ermm preferably not.”

I couldn’t hear the other model’s name cos the music started to pick up and all I caught where the closing lines of,

Girl2: “So I’ll see you there?”
Me: “You’ll be there?”
Girl2: “For sure.”
Me: “For sure then.”

4. The legend

I thought one of the girls there was awfully cute till RoundEyes told me about her history. I won’t say it here but apparently she did something in school that made her wildly popular or notoriously famed depending on how myopic you are.

It wasn’t the best party I’ve been to and I’d say that our choice of dressing actually made this more fun for us than it would otherwise have been. Well anything is fun if you have me in a skirt.


At 12:05 AM, Blogger Red said...

haaa thats why u wanted to borrow my uniform for huh.. nice one boy

At 11:25 PM, Blogger Mylene said...

Hi pretty boy,

I'm sure you'd have looked REALLY good.

Just like to tell you how much I, oh well WE love reading your stories. Keep them coming!

At 8:31 PM, Blogger The Horny Bitch said...

u and ur funny ideas.. haha

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