Saturday, February 26, 2011

The 2008 Hotdog Story

I missed this story completely. This was on the night of the 26 drinks pub crawl.


There was a reason why I didn't actually detail the 'Hotdog Story' on the night we had our birthday celebration by pub crawling along the Singapore river - and if we had on lifejackets, I'm sure it would have passed of as a duck tour.

Well, that was because I didn't fully appreciate the hilarity of the incident, because I didn't see the entire shit pan out before me and largely because I was already tipsy. Here, is the pieced recount from Huixx, LB, Reznor and Tigerlily's versions.

We were all leaving wine bar for Orchard Towers, drunk no less. Niner was already suffering from alcohol amnesia and barely able to do a decent catwalk. Apparently, Niner bumped into some dude at the hotdog stand and that guy dropped his sausage, so he turns round and yells at Niner.

Niner, obviously shit housed drunk and barely able to even focus on cleavage, does not respond to the guy, which pisses him off even more so he moves in to grab Stefan, at which Huixx intervenes.

Huixx: "Hey you!! Stop this nonsense! Here's $4, take it and stop this nonsense!"

The guy ignores her and throws a claw which catches Niner on his face/neck. Pandemonia erupts. The guy is still yelling at Niner, trying to pick a fight over a fucking $2 sausage. The bouncers are sniggering over the absurdity of it. Reznor is trying to pry them apart and in the midst of it all, LB is shouting,

LB: "HAHAHAHAHA!! IT IS JUST A SAUSAGE!! IT IS JUST A SAUSAGE!!"

Not even knowing what just happened, my instincts kicked in and I immediately restrained the guy from getting into an altercation with Niner - and prevent him from dishing out anymore pussy catfight moves. And for my troubles, the guy yelled, 'fuck off' to me, twice.

At this point, some crazy ass chick comes by, yelling about Niner dropping her sausage too and this girl wasn't even anywhere near the scene when it all happened, and I was pretty convinced she probably just got off the bus and thought she'd try her luck at a free suasage.

Girl: "You drop my sausage! Buy me back a sausage."

And I checked.. there weren't any sausages on the ground.

Tigerlily: "I give you my sausage loh.."

And Tigerlily was also tipsy and trying to pacify the girl with her half eaten sausage.

Girl: "Buy me back my sausage!!!"

Then out of no where, some dude walks by her and says,

MysteryMan: "Yo! I got two sausages for you!" [flashes both middle fingers at her and walks off]

I almost peed my pants laughing.

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