Friday, September 02, 2005

Butterfly goes to O Bar.. gets drunk

Fore-mostly, I love birthdays, I love O Bar, I love getting drunk and making out with random chicks. When there are that many ‘I love’ events stapled into one day, you’d know that day will be marked with a good spiteful of debauchery.

Everyone was late for the party, Dek (the artist formerly known as Deck) and me headed to Dbl O early. The place was crawling with expats for some reason, so we went down to O Bar to try find a table. Draco came to join us shortly after and we kicked started the night with a modest jug of beer and vodka Ribena.

11.45pm: Everyone arrives together, oddly. In attendence, LB, Round Eyes, MJ, Pappy, Dek, Draco, Reznor, Blaque, Huixx (mistress of Xin City), BB, 3 female friends (F, K and S. I have to protect identities here people..)
11.50pm: They get me a tiramisu cake which I think is courtesy of Pappy, or so he tells me. 11.52pm: I get 4 jugs of drinks ( 2 Whiskey dry, Beer, Vodka Orange) drinks are dirt cheap.

12.o7am: Finally, I get everybody to the table. I tell them I want a birthday song louder than the club music. I get my wish and I love my choir because they kick ass.

12.10am: Draco buys more drinks and a round of tequila for everyone. We toast really loudly. We are now THAT noisy group that everyone just loves to hate. Fuck them. It’s my birthday.

12.14am: I tell Huixx I want a lap dance.
12.15am: I get my first lap dance of the night. I am the envy of men.
12.17am: Dek, Mj and Draco tells Huixx it’s their birthdays too. Everyone wants a dance.

It was pretty much the usual birthday bash. The kind that everyone’s intentions are denominated by getting the birthday boy drunk. I was determined to last the night, so I tell them to get the girls drunk instead. There is no thrill in watching a guy get drunk. The drinks are started to kicking in..

2.20am: They guys are done with O Bar, so they want to head up to Dbl O. I stay because Blaque and Reznor didn't pay for entry to Dbl O.
2.24am: We head to the dance floor. Bad idea. I can hardly stand.
2.26am: I head back to the table, which turns out to be the best idea all night.

When I got back to the table, it was now occupied by a group of girls that magically appeared out of nowhere. I was drunk, staggering wildly and too far up the inebriation scale to make considerations on how they looked like.

Next thing I know, one of the girls smiling at me. She looked drunk, but I knew I was drunk so I smiled back. She leaned over. Her fringe was covering her face and the lighting was bad.

Gal: "Are you ok?"
Me: "Yeah.. a little gone though"

Honestly folks, I always say this even if I’m sober. People tend to show more concern for people bordering on drunkenness. I figured it'll lower my projected defenses so she can take advantage of the situation. Two words.

"Pays.Off"

We started having one of those conversations that totally challenged our ability to pronounce ourselves coherently and keep away from slurring. When I am at my state of drunk and you are talking to me, being loquacious is just going to get you punched.

I don’t remember shit about what we talked about, because it was either boring and trivial or it didn't have the words "Fuck” “Sex” or “My place".

Three guys sited at the table next to me started wishing me happy birthday. Had I finally become that famous?!

Me: “Howw..dich yew guys know it wuz my birthday..?”
Friendly guy: "Dude, you guys were singing so loudly, I think the whole club knows it’s your birthday man.. And we were just behind you guys so.."

Friendly guy offered to buy me drinks. Thinking he harboured an ulterior motive on my virginal ass, I said "No thanks bro, I’m good". I feel bad about turning down that free drink till this day.

Next thing I know, I felt something wet tickling my ear. Yep, my birthday wish had come true, I was having strangers licking me. The girl ( I shall refer to her as Fringe), had her tongue in my ear. It was the kind that once she had her tongue out, I swore I could here people calling out for a work permit over in Bangladesh.

I turned to face her and she was smiling at me. I grinned back and one thing led to another. Seconds later, we were making out. Couple of things started running through my head.

A) Did I ask for her name? It’s probably going to be rude if I broke the kiss and asked. What if she already told me?
B) Do I keep my hands to myself? Am I allowed to cop a feel at least?

I was so drunk, my thought processing was slower than MacDonald’s delivery service. Fuck that. I was going with reflex action and if you’ve read my stories, you'll know that my reflexes generally tell me to grope the people I kiss.

For her, it turned out to be more of a hug because her friends were STARING at me and looked liked they all had the pre-dialed for the cops and were daring me to go for my first shot at the boobs.

Well, for all the random kisses I've had at clubs, she was easily one of the better ones. She was actually pretty good. Kay popped into my head as I was in the midst of kissing. After Kay's most fucked up “I-want-to-swallow-you” kiss, I was well prepared to throw confetti and a “best kiss of the year” sash at her.

This was like the kiss to remind me that kissing was actually
a) Not painful.
b) No one needs to die from kissing.

What was weird was that the kiss wasn’t the concupiscent "I want you now!" kiss but more of the amorous "you are my girlfriend” kiss. Was I supposed to take her contact? What are the correct procedures anyway? Was I supposed to do it before the kissing or after?

I was way too drunk to start pressing numbers.

2.35am: kissing..
2.37am: still kissing
2.39am: I need a breather. Kissing stops. Did we break the club kissing record?

We then proceeded to the hugging stage of our 8min relationship. She started asking me stuff.

Fringe: “Where are you studyin’ now? “
Me: “NUS.. yew?"
Fringe:XXX. I think ya cute.. I saw ya earlier by the bar when I came in. So it’s ya birthday today? How old are you?”
Me: “So where are u studying?”
Fringe: *laughs* “You just asked me that and I told you.. XXX

I am horrible with QnA when I’m on juice. I cannot remember what has been asked before and I certainly will not remember anything beyond your introduction. I need checklists when I’m drunk. My focus lifespan is about 40 secs at the moment, but the real reason was that she had her hands on my inner thigh and it usually takes away ¾ of my brains.

Then I felt it coming... I needed to puke. I staggered to the washroom and tried my best to puke. I didn’t puke but I let off the smelliest burp I ever remembered. It was the kind that if I packaged it, I could sell it to Saddam as a nerve gas and he can use it to kill fat people with it.

I rinsed my mouth in case there was round two of tongue wrestling, then I made my way back. I sat down and she went back to snuggling up to me. I see two familiar faces, Dek and S, telling me to go up to join them. I was forced to make a decision so I rationalized and weighed my options and possible outcome.

1) I join the guys upstairs where it was more happening obviously. I continue to have fun with the guys but I probably won't get to kiss anyone. Or,

2) I stay with fringe and get to make out again.

Hands up if u choose no.2, because u now belong to a group of drunk ass with no guts for venture. I picked no.2 though, but 5mins into it I got bored. I told her to join me upstairs and I heard her say something about her friends so I said "ok, upch to yew.. I’m goin’ up now" and left.

But what I think she really said was "I'll tell my friends", so me leaving without her was the biggest self-cock block ever. I am an idiot, sometimes.

I went up to find the guys by the bar. Mj pulled me to see this girl from his school and wanted me to go talk to her. I was drunk so I had the balls of an elephant. I go to see this girl dancing with this dude who could kick my drunkard ass in 3 secs and since I don't really want to die on my birthday, I told MJ to reassess the situation and saved myself a beating. I’m drunk but I ain’t stupid.

LB wanted to go see Fringe so we headed down to find her. She was outside so I went to sit by her before LB pulled me away because she apparently wasn’t hot to him even though I distinctly remembered Dek and S saying that she looked pretty good.

This bespectacled lady with a gap in her tooth and some freckles came up to me to sell her roses. I took this as a chance to hone my economics.

Me: “How much?”
Lady: “$10
Me: “I'll give yew $2
Lady: “Cannot lah too little.”
Me: “I'll give yew $2
Lady: “Too little lah.. I can’t earn like that. $5?”
Me: “It’s my birthday.. I'll pay yew $2.
Lady: “Really cannot lah.”
Me: “It’s my bdirthay. It’s ok, I’ll give yew $2.”

The lady was a con artist. Did she really think she could trick me into thinking it was Valentine’s Day? It was September for crying out loud, who the fuck sells roses for $10? Dek and Draco had enough of my bargaining and bought the rose for me at $3.50.

We went for supper but the last I remembered was LB telling me I stank when we headed home.

4 Comments:

At 4:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 12:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

warrau comments page also kena spam. power la you. so where are the pics of Fringe?!

any girl that knows how to kiss is always worth the time.

 
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