Perth Stories - The Night We Got High

I believe everyone is innately fun-loving. It's reservations and stringent self-awareness that corrodes our ablilty to detach ourselves from social mores and delve deeper into that 'higher state of consciousness', or what we commonly know as, being high.

Raise you hands if you've been there, done that and now snigger when you juxtapose this in a retrospective review of how much of a straight jacket you were just contented to sipping your beer by the bar and saying horrible things like, "I'm looking for a good conversation". If you haven't got your hand raised, you are boring and I bet you wank off to my stories.

You and your porcelain demeanour and renunciation of all things of mild insanity - and vice for that matter, can never comprehend why I've been preaching about inebriation for the past coming 2 yrs. Spare me your soporific harangue, when you've finally left your prism of vapidity, I will welcome this diaspora and you will too.

Being high is a state of becoming, not a consequence to an action. And given the right push, you might just escape the boundaries we have drawn in this world to keep us.. socially accepted. I know so, cos Eugg proved it.

We went down to one of his friend's place to start the night off with the right foot and one cone was all it took to bring Eugg out of character. While at the carpark finishing up our last stick, Eugg was already pacing back and forth, alternating between mild RnB bounces and a depreciative mimick of my shuffle.

Eugg: "Dude, don't you feel anything?"
Me: "A little.."
Eugg: "Shit man. Are you sure? Cos I can feel it!"
Me: "No shit sherlock.. I can tell."

I've never actually seen Eugg with so much enthusiam to tackle a night out clubbing like this before. All I needed was to give him was a pair of tap dancing shoes, some chairs and we'd be watching the Riverdance.

Eugg: "DUDE, I'M SO FUCKING HIGH."

We eventually got into the car after a some discussion on where to take me for the night. I wanted Trance but Rowe was going to Metro for some shit reason about meet friends there then midway through she insisted on going back to take her iPod.

I spaced out in the car, then 'woke' up to find Eugg driving up the kerb onto the grass patch. Rowe got off and sprinted to where ever she was supposed to go.

Me: "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DRIVING IN THE PARK?!"
Eugg: "It's ok..don't worry about it."
Me: "Are you fucking high? You will never be doing this sober. You are going to wake up tomorrow and realise that doing this is a fucking bad idea."

Me: "Reverse the car, you're going to have a hard time going out of this shit.."

We were parked on a grass patch next to trees. It's the very kind of scene you'd see on "World's Dumbest Actions Caught on Tape". Next thing I know, he starts driving forward again.

Me: "Eugg! What the FUCK are you doing?!"
Eugg: "I'm going to make a U-Turn."
Me: "WHAT?! IN THE PARK?!"

What he was trying to do was to round one of the trees so that he didnt have to reverse the car out the way he came in. Only two things made this a very stupid idea.

1. The trees were very closely space together.
2. There was a steep slope beyond the trees and if we drove into the ditch, there was no way we were going to get out without a tow truck.

Against my advice, he went along with his U-Turn idea anyway. I made it to all the parties that night, so it proves luck is a good way to cover for stupidity.

We ended up going to Rise and nearly ended up in the hospital. Just as we were about to get in, a fight broke out between two gangs... of kids. I'm not fucking kidding. Kids.

They were like mini soldiers, all barely even old enough to legitimately buy a shaver and too young to even learn how to throw a punch. This is the FIRST fight I've seen take place where the aggressors barely came within 1 metre of one another. The closest they got was when they tried to spray mace.

But on the contrary, this made the fight (if you can call it one, I'm sure a punch has to be included to actually consider it as one.) even more dangerous for everyone else. That was cos instead of Jet Li inspired kicks and punches, they were throw EVERYTHING across the streets at one another.

Ashtrays, beer bottles, glasses, tables, crates, the neighbours cat. If they were strong enough, they would have thrown a Kancil. And everything went from, 'This is great, let's watch a free fight' to 'this is bad, we're going to get hit by glass'.

The moment the first glass shattered against the wall, I knew my immediate safety drill was to scream and run off like the lil' bitch I am. It was absolutely chaotic. I was half trying to run away and half trying to find a place safe enough to watch the fight. I'm inherently Singaporean, I know.

Eugg: "Hurry hurry, lets get out of here."

I started running, then glanced over to see Eugg still standing rooted to where he was.

Me: "Fuck Eugg! What the fuck are you doing?!"

And he started strolling towards me.

Eugg: "Lets quuuuickly get out of here..."

Then he continued strolling so slowly that Terry Fox could whip his ass in a 100 metre race. The projectiles where still flying across the road, people were yelling and I was 2 secs away from pissing my pants.

I've been hit by projectiles once and it left me a scar near my left eyebrow (explains why I changed my parting), so I absolutely know why it is perfectly fine for men to run away screaming like a girl. I only remember two things.

I mumbled, "Chee Bye...." and pulled Eugg along with me as soon as they started throwing the tables and chairs.

If this was Singapore, you'd have the cops on your ass before you even have time to read your rights. But in Perth..

5mins: Projectiles still flying. Two cars are damaged and someone is bleeding.
10mins: No cops. Fight still on. Bookies start giving out odds on the fight. Guy still bleeding.
15mins: Still no cops. Not much left to throw. Fight is ending. People are bored. Guy might not live the night.
20mins: Cops come. Fight has ended. I could have become a PR. Guy should be dead.

Despite that farce, nothing was going to derail me from two higher purpose of the night. Trance and Whiskey. As soon as we got to the club, we went right for the bar and ordered two rounds of whiskey coke. I was barely even into my ideal state of piss drunkness but Eugg looked like he had taken the whole wineyard hostage and was drinking since 10am.

Eugg: "The DJ man! Let's go infront of the DJ!"

I've never seen Eugg anywhere remotely seduced by Trance before tonight. In fact, I've never seen Eugg with this much enthusiam for an affair with the dance floor, not since the days of 2000 at Mambo nights. He was so high, people actually came up to him asking if we could hook them up for a joint.

Eugg: "Shit dude, do I look that high?"
Me: *nods*