Butterfly goes to Thai Disco

Either my liver is having a voice and running a campaign to have me killed earlier than agreed or I'm seriously developing an adversion to juice. Fuck my life is ruined.

We dropped by at a Thai disco at Clarke Quay last night because GT4 had a Thai female guest in town. Things I love about this Thai disco is despite the fancy up market decor, the scent of vice and scantily clad dancers are still distinctively Thai. No where else can you find singers who butcher English and Mandarin pop hits and still manage to look good doing it. This is one place you CANNOT afford taking your eyes off them when they sing, unless you're into disc scratching.

I walk in to see pole dancers on the bar top and its all I need to know that this place deserves a beer at least. Live bands are synonymous with Thai discos, and these aren't your chair sitting, guitar strumming local bands you get at Wala's or Balaclava. Thai live bands are infused with cabaret acts and short skirts. Bless the Thai's for cheap dance cheoreography and lots of booty shaking.

I've been to Thai disco's at Golden Mile a couple of times in the past. I love it, but the only deterent to that joint is the urine laden scent that perpetuates the corridoors. I love Thais, but I can't take the scent of their place sometimes. If you've been to Golden Mile, I'm sure you are familiar with the scent. Its a cross between ammonia and souring food and alot of foulness. Cultural tolerance can be practised, its called sinus.

The table next to us has three female performers and I immediately tell Reznor to move to a side because he is in my line of sight. Two of them are decently hot, while one in my opinion is absolutely fucky. Maybe its her sultry blue eyeliner, maybe its the black dress, had it not been for the table in between us and my legs still cramping from soccer, I'd have like to fuck her in an instance. Please, I hope people reading this is smart enough to know when I'm kidding.

Anyway, the singers get up on stage to do their dance/song medley, which is a social cue for LB and me to move our drinks over to the front bar right infront of the stage. Every other guy in the club isn't good looking so I take it as a responsibilty to ensure the singers have eye candy to smile to. That is me, thoughtful. Everyone needs to smile and tell me how cute I am, I have an ego that needs fellating.

Vocal proficiency is one lacking area in these entertainment joints, but its usually all about the visual. Most of the singers can't really sing and you'd think you're at a K Box session with people who have diction deficiency. Some of it is so bad you'd think this was a speech therapy session for people with short tongues. Then there'll be the songs that you have no idea what language it's in, and all we'll talk about is.

"That ass is hot."

Two of the dancers double up as drinks peddlers and are selling a tray of shots. This following event is why people who are stupid and cannot take jokes should never hang out with me. Two of them start asking me to buy a shot from them because its the last shot left.

Me: "What's that?"
Girl: "Vodka and Orange."
Me: "How much is that?"
Girl: "$10"
Me: "$10!! DO I GET A FUCKING HANDJOB FOR THAT TOO???!!!"

The girl looks at me, VERY pissed at my comments. Worst Reaction.Ever. The other is smart enough to know that I'm kidding. Fuck that, if she's too dumb to know that I'm kidding, she's not worth my time and effort in explaining.

This is an insult to me. Who the fuck sells $10 screwdriver shots?! The damn shit's cost price is about $0.40 tops. There is no way in hell that I'm ever going to touch it.

Girl2: "Buy lah, I give you discount."
Me: "Why don't you buy it for me and I'll throw in a free coaster."
Girl2: "You buy la, I charge you $9.90. Buy one get one free."
Me: "Wow, that's like the best discount ever. If I didn't know better I'd have thought its the Great Singapore sale again. Why don't you buy it for me and I'll throw in a couple more coasters and serviettes."

Girl2 has the smallest tits ever to qualify as a female on her I/C. Cleavage is a word that will NEVER be applicable to her. Had it been any smaller, she'd have to be on estrogen medication before a dick pops up. Thankfully, she looked alittle like Sammi Cheng, and seem delighted that I said she didn't look local. Whatever, I lie alot when I have to dish out compliments.

We adjourn to MoS shortly after Liverpool sneaks in a FA Cup win.

Something in me is dying off, and it's not just the liver.

GT4 comes to tell me that the group of 4 girls standing next to him are talking about me and my shuffle, and eggs me to do something about it. I take a glance, then continue dancing. I should never attempt to pick people up, its disasterous. The four girls slowly make their way to where I'm standing and make eye contact with me. You know how you know when people are looking and talking about you? Well, this one is simple. They nudge and point.

The girls are not hot enough for me to break the ice and risk me looking very bad from the ensuing pickup, hence I decide to give them a chance to hit on me instead. It's not that I have an ego, but people who know me can atest to my pickups as social suicide. I believe in egalitarianism and women should have the right to pick people up without repercussions from society. Inactivity kills them in this instance. Too much looking and smiling and not enough effort to turn and say "hi", and if I'd known better, I'd think they were baiting me to pick them up. Sneaky bitches.

Amatuers.. For that to happen, you'd need alot of flirting, winking and licking of lips. Having a decent cup size or a hot ass are major plus points that will sway my feet two steps in your direction. If you hold up your glass and mouth, "I want to buy you a drink", I'll break into a sprint for you. That is a rare sight, since nothing is usually worth me breaking a sweat and risk having stitches and cramps for. For juice I will.

Entertain me in this digression for a moment. GT4 asked me about how I usually reject a girl from a commital relationship after hooking up. Strangely I've never really had this issue. I guess I'm always forthcoming about my reluctance for commitment and I don't need to lead people on with false hope of affections. Most girls know what they are getting into when they date me, for the few that falter on the hurdle and fall for me, I actually feel bad but I ease my conscience knowing that nothing I've said to them is a lie. I don't conform to expectations and neither should anyone expect anything from me, except that I'm a good tease and I'm interesting to have around.

Guys are generally assholes, I'm no deviation from that norm but I'll never toy with emotions and neither should anyone else. I'm an asshole because my threshold of morality wanes below decency. I'd flirt with anyone I like, generally I have reservations for attached personnels but of late I've slumped to a new low. I'm no home wrecker, but everyone should be given choices. If you like me, and I'm sure you will.. I will entertain that affection as long as I like you too. Hey, if your girlfriend decides to fuck me, it might be a good thing for you, since I have a high propensity to fuck up hook ups anyway.

Something else happened that night, which I'm in the process of seeking permission to write about. It's a first in my hook ups gone wrong and anything fucked up happening to me is entertainment for you.