Saturday, May 06, 2006

Butterfly and the last of school.

Funny how I always dreaded school and wanted nothing more than to get my degree and start joining the worker bee colony. My unfounded enthusiasm to be a proletarian slave to capitalism is slowly beginning to unwrap itself and I only now understand why working people envy us. Until I've reached the end road do I value the journey.

No, not that I miss studying, that day will never see the light. University has given me so much more to look forward to. The cheap canteen food, the people watching, sleeping in lectures and the list grows as I'm constantly flooded by chronic reminiscence. I miss it, the days of sitting aimlessly in the canteen, trying to look pretty, getting love notes from annoymous people, laughing at ugly people..

Its been a social tickle for me, a glass waiting room to pass out my time, to hone my interactional skills and hopefully, having a degree finds me a job..

Highlights of my school life.

1. I got lousy grades, but hey I managed to consistently get fuck grades. Says alot. I started with a CAP of 2.1 then pulled it to 2.9. That's slightly below a B- average. Whoopi. I did this while partying four times a week. Seriously it's possible, LB and me did it almost consistently.

2. Evelyn Sheu. The hightlight of my freshman year and one of the few eye candies I distracted myself with. She's one of the many reasons why I'm in the lower percentile of the bell curve. I think she's hot, but not many people share my sentiments, fuck them. Her long black hair, that Oriental slit eyes, sharp nose and bangs, all these are concoctions for making me buckle at the knees. She's with Mannequin Models.

3. In my sophomore year, I actually got to know most of my eye candies. The bad thing is that the mystery is lost after that. I hooked up with one, which was pretty pleasant. Somehow, people are always way more interesting when we know less. People tell me I'm nothing like what they imagined me to be. Since I seldom smile, they always figured I'd be the silent kind, someone that was.. cool. After knowing me, they realise they cannot be further from the truth. I'm crazy.

4. My first ONS actually turned out to be in the same lecture as me. One word, WEIRD. My inclination to fuck anyone is dictated by mood and swayed by cleavages and hot asses. There's nothing mechanical about the people I choose to fuck, nor is there usually a template of who I take home. Everything is organic and filed by chance. Naturally, chances are if you hit on me, you'll get lucky. Unless of cos you are fat or ugly, then you will be lauged at. This girl is decent, but not someone I'll go all out to bed.

We met the night before at Zouk, without knowing or having seen each other prior to this. The funny thing was that I almost immediately knew she was up for a fuck. Her body language, the way she constantly leaned on me, the way she twirled her hair around her manicured fingers. I'm lying, the only reason I caught her flirt was because she said,

She: "Can we chill at your place later?"

It caught me by surprise, and for a time I wondered why her conversations bordered so much on intimacy and why she kept leaning so close to me when there were tons of space. Yes, I was an idiot.

We left, went back and fucked for about 2 hours and left like how we begin, strangers. She was a seasoned player, solicitous to my needs and passionate in bed, but silent and distant as soon as we left the confines of the bedroom. I knew nothing, just tagged along and refrained from asking anything that wasn't initiated. I knew kissing and sex was part of the main course, I just wasn't sure if asking for a contact number was part of dessert.

5 Hours later, I bumped into her at the lecture. She was seated 2 rows from me and when we stood up during the lecture break, our eyes met. It was awkwardness at first sight. Can the dating Gods be anymore cruel? The shock in her eyes was priceless, having realised that she just shat on her own backyard. We didn't talk, she smiled and we got on with life.

5. One of my first NUS friend turned out to be gay. Awkward 5 mins of my life. I was asking him stuff about when he was planning on getting married and his ideal wife..

He: "Actually.. I think you should know.. I'm gay. I just thought you should know."
Me: [pat him on the back] "Hey no worries lah, I'm cool with it."

After that I turned to my other friend.

Me: "Ohh shit.. That was awkward!"

6. I coined my most infamous pick up line. This girl was in my lecture and on the last day of the semester, I bumped into her 4 times. Seeing this as a validation from Fate, I had to make a move. Apparently I'm bad at reading signs, this just means that the school is small. I told LB that if I saw her again, I'd go talk to her. Lo' and Behold.. As soon as I finished my sentence, she walked by, so I RAN up to her.

Me: "I really need to know your name."

I left the girl in paralytic shock. Quite predictably. Another reason why I should never try to hit on people. I suck.

7. My tutor, who gave me insanely high marks for my essay. 14/15, that's like A++. This was when the essay didn't include a single biblography or sociological referencing. If you've done term papers, you'll know the importance of referencing, no paper without biblography is going to score decent grades. Thankfully, a pretty face goes along way. How do I know that?

She was talking to her colleague after I walked passed her late one night in the library. I made a detour and followed her down the stairs and she said this,

She: "Didn't you see him?"
Guy: "Who?"
She: "My student that I waved to, I wanted to show you. I think he is really cute and he's got funky hair."
Guy: "Which one?"
She: "The one that just passed us."

At this point, she turns to point at the direction I went. You can imagine the look on her face when she saw me 3 steps behind. Immediately, she grabbed the guy and they started breaking out into a brisk walk. At some point the guy turns back to look at me. Yes, that would be me.

Awkwardness can make you do the silliest of things, like making obvious avoidance and having to detour. She made two turnabouts the next day when she saw me, I'm pretty sure it was deliberate. The school is only big enough for one of us. If she wasn't so dodgy about this, I'd have told her I thought she was cute too. Hey, sleeping with the tutor is one way to ace the paper, I always said I was a slut didn't I?

8. I miss the food, especially the Japanese and Yong Tau Fu stalls. Maybe also the Biz Ad western food, the guy has a funky accent. .. "next please".

9. Lastly, I'll miss my hair. Yes, I have to cut the locks, it's going to be heartbreaking, almost vexatious even. Alot of girls are going to be upset and alot will finally rejoice because they hate it. Fuck them.

8 Comments:

At 4:48 PM, Blogger Hecate said...

ah yes the uncle at the BizAd western food stall. a friend of mine once almost got into a fight with him. funny how my friends like to get into fights with canteen vendors. another got into a fight with the uncle at SRC canteen.

haha, i think when most arts students leave school, alot of us will miss the times hanging out in the canteen. i still remember how i used to hang out there, and then we would decide that when we graduate we would all congregate just where the security camera can see us and start smoking like no one's biz.

heh. time flies. =)

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger The Horny Bitch said...

Congrats. Welcome into the world of sluts and bastards.

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger The Butterfly said...

Hecate> Yea, that's wad my friends tot of also.. smoking infront of the camera.

no shit.. time really flies... and i don't like it one bit.

HB> i thought i was already living in the world of sluts and bastards.. I'm running for mayor in that world.

 
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