Friday, April 14, 2006

Butterfly Goes for Fashion Show

Added: Pics of the event and after.

When a chance to wine and dine for free while oogling at catwalk mannequins presents itself to me, I never pass off a chance to cash in on it. We had some invites to a fashion show by Female magazine at Ritz Carlton and since I've never been to a private event fashion show, I think going is a great idea. Like I said, the best part ain't the hot models sashaying endlessly on a runway built for narcissistic egos, but the brick-a-brats that accompany this parade of anorexia.

1. Free Food (its good stuff, think salmon, caviar, kish...)

Champagne is evil, I reiterate myself. But anything free deserves at least 6 glasses of my attention. All things alcoholic are wicked, but what fucks you up has to be good. Free flow of alcohol gets me all excited just like Steve Chia in a maid agency. Haa.

I get there with LB, and dressed to kill. Its a good thing I decided to stick with the shirt, cos everyone's dressed to be on the cover of GQ. Think a page out of Singapore Tatler, then throw in an under 40 age bracket, and what you get is a room of people blowing kisses at everyone else who is a Who's who.

I scan the place. Aside from the male models, I am the hottest straight guy in the place. I do a visual head count of non-homosexuals. Including the underaged waiters, we have just enough to form an Ice Hockey team without reserves. I cheer at being eyed by both sexes.

As soon as we get there, I grab 2 glasses of champagne and down both like a shot of Jolly Shandy. I have no time to lose, I have to have at least 6 glasses to make up for my time there. LB moves in for the food, I continue to cash in on the drinks. I grab another glass. Within half an hour, I'm already on my 6th glass and I'm starting to feel slightly tipsy.

7.45pm: I'm on the 8th glass and everyone is beginning to look better.

7.47pm: Sue thinks I should cut down, before I start spewing in the middle of the fashion show. LB thinks I should go crazy on the drinks and begin to cheer me on.

7.50pm: I've hit 9 glasses. Peed about 200 times and have yet to say anything remotely rude to anyone.

7.55pm: I desperately chase after waiters for my 10th glass of champagne. You think I'm kidding, I'm not. I ran after those secondary school part timers because they kept walking away from me. I had to be the only one made to work for a drink.

8pm: At 10 glasses, I think continuing on the fizz juice is a bad idea. I might pass out.

The fashion show starts as fast as it ends. Its a 30 min show with a 2 hour reception. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was an All-you-can-eat buffet with a catwalk side show. The only good thing about such shows is that everyone the people in these industries tend to be good looking and dress well. Thankfully so, cos if there were fat people there, the finger food would have been snapped up. We just cant compete with them.

On a side note. The models were pretty hot, especially the male. The female contingent is made up of frizzy haired caucasian with A cup boobs and 2 inch long nipples poking through the clothes fabric. There were couple of 'Stars' at the event. Michelle Goh if any of you remember her graced the event and was caught talking to Benedict Goh (Who? Think Pyramid game?).

I steal in one last glass to cap the night off at 11 glasses. My speech starts to slur and I begin spouting non-sensical stuff. They ignore me. If any of you were there that night and saw this guy in brown drinking all night, running after waiters and asking if they had whiskey instead, then that would be me.

With enough in me to start a campfire, I decide to keep up the momentum and party at Zouk. I start getting messages from friends asking me to head down to various places. Im half fucked and I cannot think of anything else except getting more sloosh with juice. We stick to Zouk and it pays off.

I meet Huixx at Phuture where she introduces this guy to me. He looks VERY familiar, I stare at him then tell LB.

LB: "He's an actor."
Me: "He is?"
LB: "Ya, he raped Fann Wong in Return of the Condor Heroes."

I turn to Huixx

Me: "Babe, he raped Fann Wong.."

This guy is a drop out actor. And he actually looks alot better in person, like most television personalities.

Then the part which makes this night memorable. Enter MissBangs and Ivory into the equation, with a half drunk me (I drank more at Zouk) and a very horny LB. Since I don't really give a fuck about them or what they think of me, I decide to angle this into a Foursome, just to push my luck and see how far I can get with this.

I'm going to take my time with this entry, its going to be good. The worst hook up...

This is the Invite.

She's the one responsible for making me look good. Trust me she's ALOT better looking in person.

Watching a catwalk half drunk is fun, that way I lie to myself that being addicted to juice is a reason my I'm not modelling.

The poor soul next to me, I pity her for falling for me. Haha.


At 3:16 PM, Blogger The Horny Bitch said...

Didn't give them tips right that's y they walk away. Hey u're better than me. U can remember what happened after so many glasses. Haha.

At 4:18 PM, Blogger The Butterfly said...

Wahahahah I'm an alcoholic sweetheart, its my job to drink and remember. Those damn waiters hate me. They should just go back to working at MacDonalds

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