Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Australian Trip- Adelaide part 1


Binge drinking 4 hours before a flight is not good. I had a nasty headache and I had to spend the entire flight coping with screaming babies on board, right next to me.

I meet Minori in town then spend the next hour walking around with all my luggage. Taxi driver in down under are millionaires, do you know how much it cost to take a fucking cab? From the distance from Orchard road to Newton, it's probably going to cost you $15. The meter jumps like its going out of fashion, whether its on the move or at the red light. A red light is gonna cost you at least $1 so everytime you hit one, its like a traffic fine. Bless the cabbies at home.

There really isn't anything much in Adelaide. When I was in SG and told people I was going to Perth and Adelaide, everyone said, "What the hell is there to see there?". And when I was in Perth and told the people at boringville that I was gonna go to Adelaide, they all said, "What the hell is there to see there?". Yea, I should have seen that coming.

The worst was yet to come.

There is something wrong between her and me. Its true what they say about magic, its only good the first time round. Its retribution at its best laughing at me. Remembering how Ivory and Suci came all the way from their respective countries to find me and how things didn't work out, this was the exact same scenario. I am fucked.

Before I even get here, I've actually already anticipated these. The only thing I failed to think about was my contingency plan. I had none. Well done, I give myself a pat on the back for the lack of forsight and contemplate flying back. Perhaps I had expected too much out of this trip.

There are actually 2 other girls living in the house. Thanh and Molys who are pretty fun people to hang out with. I am far from being myself because they cant really catch it when I speak fast, and I'm not good at being around strangers. I'll warm up after drinks.


I spend the whole morning shopping around the city, eating alone and actually visiting the art museum. I'm such a tourist if you saw me walking around with a camera and videocam. Some Asian students at the University actually asked where I was from. I'm not abandoned, just that Minori has to work so I have to spend 5 hrs alone while waiting for her to end work. Not sweet at all, I have no choice now do I?

Thanh picks us up to go view a place they are considering to rent. This black real estate agent chick with damn cool braids tells us some horror story about the last house she went to. The guy had collected his own feaces in jars and decorated them around the house. I almost gag when I hear it.

At night, we finally go clubbing at Soul Bar. The place is Asian paradise. I'd never have known I was in Adelaide. Asian outside of SG always seem to be that much hotter, even the barmaids. Prior to getting there, I've already had 3 glasses of wine and all of them wanted to get me drunk.

Thanh: "Do you drink alot?"
Me: "Yea, sometimes."
Thanh: "So you're a pretty good drinker huh?"
Me: "I'm ok i guess"

They decide to get me shit house drunk. I warn them that it takes quite a bit to get me to that state. They don't believe. And that I trash talk when I'm gone, so I might just randomly start a bar fight. They don't believe either.. Oh well, they have been warned.

As soon as we get there, Thanh orders a round of Yeiger Bomb (I don't know if i spelt it right). I get a round of Vodka Redbull and a round of Blowjob. The barmaid who was pretty cute didn't know the drink, so I fake three liquors I think is in it. I get them wrong cos the Blowjob taste like fuck.

They get a round of Champagne and some other drinks. Then these two Malaysian guys start asking me to buy them drinks.

Malaysian: "You're from SG? We're fromMalaysia! Hey why don't you buy us drinks?"
Me: "We already treat water for you, you should be thankful and buy me drinks."

I'll give you a rundown of how much I actually drank,
Drinks: 2 Jager bombs, 4 vodka, 4 whiskey, 2 blowjobs, 2 galliano shots, 2 burbon, 2 champagne, 1 bacardi 151 and one other unknown shot.
Amount Spent: A$250

Yes, I'm crazy when it comes to drinking. It scares everyone. By the time I'm midway through, the guys give up trying to get me drunk cos they were pretty smash.

So what do I do in the club? I get myself picked up. Thats the only thing I'm good at in foreign countries. The barmaid starts flirting with me and then this Thai girl who was pretty hot with a damn good figure starts to buy me drinks. I thought she was one of Minori's friend so I get all chumy with her, and pretty much everyone else. Thats me with a good mix of alcohol, I turn into Captain Sociable.

This is absolutely shit, I came because of a Jap and I end up with a Thai. This girl keeps coming up to me all night, even when I hid myself in a corner cos I was exhausted from shuffling. She starts chatting and I start throwing my Thai pickup lines at her. So what do I do when someone this hot hits on me while my fast fleeting dream date is dancing just 5m away? I take advantage of it.

On a regular night and if I wasn't a stranger here, I would have gone home with her. The worst part of this was that I actually didn't remember her name and since I assume her to be with the group, I gathered that I was going to see her again anyway. This is destroyed early this morning when Thanh starts laughing at me for taking pictures with a stranger and how I got picked up an all.


Anyway, Thanh gives me a pretty interesting insight on me and my soon to be damage liver. I'm not sure if it's true.

Thanh: "You know your liver is fucked if you don't get drunk easily, because liver processes alcohol. So if your liver is fucked, the alcohol just circulates in your blood waiting to be processed. That's how you get blood poisoning."

Me: "If I'm gonna die anyway, it might as well be alcohol."

Minori comes to tell me that we're leaving. Another 10mins more and I might have been fucking the Thai on the sofa. Damn Japs, they have bad timing. I dunno what is it with Thais and me, it's like I'm fated to end up with one.


At 2:26 AM, Blogger The Horny Bitch said...

I love your answer to M'sians.. Wicket..

At 7:59 PM, Blogger The Butterfly said...

HEeeee heeee thanks.. someone has to put them in place!

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