Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Butterfly Watches Environmental Film

I confess. I’m not the most environmental friendly person you’ll find. I think trees just takes up space where more shopping malls and clubs should be built. I think recycling is a word synonymous with the elderly workforce and the slogan “Go Green” is a campaign to legitimize revenge fueled by jealousy.

I have a “I am a Young Environmentalist” badge, from that Young Scientist program we had in science classes in primary school during my time, lying somewhere in my room. Ironic isn’t it on how I turned out. Well, I never really understood the whole fuss about it. I was 10 and I had huge words like “ozone depletion’, “resource exhaustion” and “necrophilia” thrown at me, that I just assumed I could actually do something about it.

On Tuesday night, Niner hooked us up for the premier screening of The 11th Hour. It was one of those that came with a fancy cocktail reception that was laced with cheap wines and pastries that excluded gourmet pleasantries like caviar and salmon.

Prior to this, I’ve never once heard of the film, let alone know what I was getting myself into. I heard ‘free tickets’ and I never really paid attention to what came after it. Apparently, it was some documentary on the environment or to be exact, the demise of it. I frowned when I realized there wasn’t going to be any nude scenes or heads being blown off.

Some lady came over and informed us that the movie was starting in 5 mins and requested that we made our way in soon. For Christ sake, this is Lido, the movies never starts on time. The commercials and trailers run on long enough for Korea to be unified.

Faith: “Dude, the movie is starting.”
Me: “The whole movie is about dying trees, you are not going to be missing much.”

I pointed at a plate the waiter was clearing.

Me: “Who the fuck wasted a drumstick?!”
Faith: “That would be Scooby.”
Me: “Scooby! The movie hasn’t started and you are fucking wasting food already?!”
Scooby: “It’s fucking horrible..”
Me: “You do not waste food at a reception promoting the saving of the environment.”
Scooby: “Do I look like I’m an environmentalist to you?”

I met RollerGirl by the buffet table.

RollerGirl: “Here for the free wine and food huh?”
Me: “No.. I care for the environment. I signed up at”

We knocked back our second glass of wine and headed to the theatre, only to find some boring opening speech by some dude from some ‘I want to save the world’ agency. This absolutely bored me. Where is Captain Planet when you actually need him?

Me: “What is this ‘ladies and gentlemen, thank you for..’ *snores *. Get on with the fucking show.”

RollerGirl dropped me an SMS.

RG: “Eh stop swigging lah. Movie start already.”
Me: “Fuck lah, I see this movie everyday. It’s called Tree Pruning. Eh what is this guy talking about?! Shut up and show some tits!”
RG: “I think you’re in the wrong theatre, dude. Lots of bush but no tits here.”

I don’t remember EVER sleeping through any movie I’ve ever watched in a cinema, save for one Mel Gibson flick, but that was fatigued induced and no one runs a half marathon in the morning and still catches a mid-night movie awake. BUT this show absolutely lullabyed me faster than a full snort of valium.

Ten minutes into the movie, which was randomly throwing up figures of rising temperatures and depletion of natural resources, I decided that I already know all this and sleeping would be more productive.

If you took geography at varsity level like I did for a few modules, you’ll also know that Global Warming is a highly mis-interpreted term that people like to juxtapose next to green house effect and other man-made consequence of industrialization.

If you think Global Warming is a consequence of Man’s actions, you are wrong.

I woke up 15 minutes later and the movie was still on the same topic as when I fell asleep. The same idiots were talking, the same agencies were proliferating their campaign to save the Earth and the same charts were showing us that the Earth is dying at an accelerated rate.

I woke up towards the end again and they were doing a summary of the entire movie; Our Earth is dying, save it. I don’t understand why they needed a 2 hour movie to bring across a message that could have been done in 5 second. Niner was apparently the only one that stayed awake throughout this blasphemy of a Hollywood production.

The World is dying, I get it, but it’s not like I can make a difference. The problem lies with the Americans because they are using the bulk of the world’s resources. Look, when America does something about it, I will too.

Here are some suggestions on how to get people to actively do things. Need to start a war? Find someone and accuse them of having weapons of mass destruction, then eliminate them regardless of proof. Need to save the Earth? Move the Americans to Mars. And when they destroy that too, you can move them to Venus.

I tried to watch it, I really did. Even against phosphenes and the countless others who were dozing off, but when I realized how ridiculously dumb it was to be sitting in the cinema watching grown men telling me that cutting trees and driving cars are harmful to the environment, I decided to respond in the only mature way I know; sleep.

Well, if Captain Planet just showed up, everything would be fine and people would not have to be wasting money on dumbass documentaries like this. I mean, Michael Moore was great at documentaries and I’m sure they could have gotten some pointers from him, but to go on a make a feature length visual torture on the Earth? Idiots.

I did however felt bad about snoozing through the film. It’s disrespectful, that much I know. So I did my part on saving the environment. I went home and watered my money plant.


At 11:40 PM, Blogger (T) (H) (B) said...

Chasity belt? That's call PERIOD..

At 12:44 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, nike outlet, prada handbags, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors, michael kors outlet, louboutin shoes, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, replica watches, burberry outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, nike air max, nike free, longchamp, replica watches, nike air max, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, louboutin, louis vuitton outlet, burberry, louis vuitton

At 12:48 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin pas cher, coach purses, hogan, michael kors, sac longchamp, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, vanessa bruno, abercrombie and fitch, coach outlet, sac guess, hermes, ralph lauren pas cher, coach factory outlet, michael kors, lululemon, nike blazer, nike air max, nike free, ralph lauren uk, air force, new balance pas cher, air jordan pas cher, true religion jeans, converse pas cher, nike roshe, north face, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, michael kors, michael kors, ray ban uk, nike free run uk, oakley pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, timberland, kate spade handbags, tn pas cher, coach outlet, longchamp pas cher, air max, north face, mulberry, burberry, true religion outlet, hollister

At 12:59 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

babyliss, north face outlet, north face outlet, giuseppe zanotti, s5 cases, nike roshe, louboutin, baseball bats, valentino shoes, beats by dre, ferragamo shoes, iphone 6 plus cases, ipad cases, bottega veneta, iphone 6s cases, hollister, mont blanc, nike huarache, birkin bag, iphone 6s plus cases, chi flat iron, vans shoes, nfl jerseys, soccer shoes, mcm handbags, hollister, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, timberland boots, lululemon, ralph lauren, new balance, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, jimmy choo shoes, herve leger, nike trainers, reebok shoes, iphone cases, insanity workout, oakley, p90x workout, longchamp, wedding dresses, asics running shoes, iphone 5s cases, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, ghd, mac cosmetics

At 1:06 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg boots uk, converse outlet, lancel, gucci, swarovski crystal, hollister, barbour, moncler, nike air max, canada goose outlet, links of london, ugg pas cher, converse, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, barbour jackets, pandora charms, pandora charms, sac louis vuitton pas cher, pandora jewelry, vans, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, swarovski, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, karen millen, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, coach outlet, michael kors outlet online, montre pas cher, michael kors handbags, supra shoes, toms shoes, wedding dresses, moncler, doke gabbana outlet, moncler, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada


Post a Comment

<< Home