Memories Are Evil

Memories are horrible neuro-subscriptions that exist for the purpose of keeping us miserable. It is the greatest denominator for misery and it only serves to remind you how comparatively shitty your life is now. Simply put, memories are evil. You can disagree, but you are wrong.

You see, this nostalgic recurrence is generally grossly associated with a pleasant event. You think back, you smile, you remember how great that event was and the eventual dissipation of it and your return to reality just makes you a little more dissatisfied with the present.

I’ll break it down for better digestion.

1. They mess with your purse.

Despite common perception that I spend all my time partying, getting drunk and insulting the lesser beings of life, I actually portion a good part of my life to cutting nails, Sudoku sessions in the toilet and daydreaming.

Every night when I sit at my porch, my mind inevitably takes me back to the times I had in OZ. The endless nights just lying outside the garden, the chilling breeze, my hands tucked into my jacket pocket, the cold beer and the mandatory fag. I never could surrender this memory and the product of such is that I always held the nights here in contempt.

I always end up pouting and an impetus to fly off on holiday at the slightest notice. Of course, the consequence for my actions catches up with me every month end. Strangely enough, it’s called the credit card bill; life’s greatest reality check.

Memories are a catalyst for financial destruction.

2. Memories are always better.

Adjunction to the above, comparatively, memories surrender you to an event that is more pleasant than the current phase you are in.

Every time I drive pass NUS, I always recall how great life was in school; the cheap canteen food, the people watching, the great sleeping ambience in the library and a legitimate opportunity to meet beautiful people. Plus the fact that we didn’t have to wake up early and there was so much free time I would have completed watching the entire Days Of Our Lives twice over before graduation. I always believed that those were the best 3 years of my life.

All that just made me pissed at having to wake up at 8am every morning now to travel to a place where till today, has only 3 girls in the entire building whom I would not mind seeing naked.

I can’t see how the immediate by-product of anything that makes you feel worse than you did before, can be good. It’s like watching one too many Rob Schneider movies. Sure it starts off mindlessly entertaining but you subconsciously get dumber and before you know it, you can’t figure out how to switch off the TV.

3. Emotional attachment

Far more than anything else, memories are the greatest emotional blackmailing (self-inscribed or externally induced) tool ever.

Raise your hands if you’ve heard your friends or yourself echo, “but I can’t forget all the good times we had. I can’t bear to breakup.” Now, wave it if you’ve heard me say,

“You are an idiot.”

You have to realize that memories only serve to keep you trapped in that cyclical ward of regression. You’ll NEVER move forward if you choose to cling on ever so prodigiously to memories. Memories should only be reserved for the strong.

The problem with memories is that, people in general facing emotional turmoil have selective memory capacities that excludes everything negative. The phenomenon to only remember the good times is largely fueled by stupidity, which I truly believe is an airborne disease. And it probably explains why people never want to let go.

Sure, you remember the times he baked you cookies or when she allowed you to watch wrestling in peace, but why is it that no one cares to remember the times they grabbed you by the throat or when they threw the ashtray at you?

The reluctance to surrender memories miraculously makes someone stupid without them realizing. You just got cheated on and instead of saying the right stuff like, 'I'm going to cut his balls off', you say stupid things like, 'but I love him' or 'I think I made him feel neglected". Well, one things for sure, you have a First Class honors in stupidity or maybe you just sniff glue for breakfast.

All the ‘but we’ve been through so much together’ shit. Look, they got bored of your whining ass so they moved on. They’ve probably already got a head start with the pussy count or had two dicks in their mouth since, and you are still lamenting over ‘the things we’ve been through’? What a moron.

You are miserable in a relationship and the only thing that binds you to where you are, are memories. They are a mere perpetuation of misery and you really think memories are great things?

If you tell me any of the above mentioned ‘I am a moron in love’ phrase more than once, I will punch you so hard and run away so fast, you’d probably think I was a Kenyan Mike Tyson.

Age, experience and maturity (on the times I’m sober) have equipped me with enough to know that memories are in place to keep us periodically dissatisfied. I’m guessing capitalism is at play or the works of the religious mantra maybe, but no one is really pointing fingers.

When I was young (probably too young to even spell ‘alcohol’ without signing a consent form), I used to think memories were the best things to have when I’m alone. That was until the Nintendo came along and memories just became an opportunity cost.