Tuesday, November 13, 2007

How Men And Women Differ Pt1

For the large part of my life, I’ve never really believed in the characteristic divides between men and women. For one, my social sanctuary has a prolific line up of androgyny.

If you think being a ‘player’ is a gender biased and circumscribed bracket subscribed to only by males, then you haven’t been properly acquainted with Huixx or Sheena or the dozen others, who have been furtively hunting on the dance floor. Tsk tsk, and you thought you picked them up?

Or the hapless romantics who take forever to resurface from a break-up, that it debunks the myth of men being emotionally superior? Reznor continually reminds me that even with facial hair, comes emotional fragility. And Blaque proves that hen-pecked men can bitch and complain more than pregnant women.

My assessment of this ambiguity has however been more refined of late. It’s not entirely about how men read maps better than women or how women need to use more skin products than men, that really sets us apart as homo-sapiens, but rather, how we actually deal with situations.

Handling Rejections.

If I ever had to write a special power I have down as confession, it would be – Making people cry. It’s either I’m dating too many emotionally brittle women or they are really good actors who can qualify as rain props.

On the numerous occasions where my penchant for honesty in answering “do you love me?” vulgarities with “No. But I like you.”, I’ve seen them degenerate from Shisheido covergirl to Halloween goth chick. I never understand why.

When a woman puts her heart out in the open, professes her love and gets struck with rejection, or scorn, her immediate reaction is to let emotions take over her. Rejection is very much an embarrassing event itself, and now she has to worry about tears ruining her make up. Life is tough.

Women take rejections seriously and it damages their emotional psyche. The cathartic response is naturally to cry, because crying makes the guys panic. And panic is the best way to mind fuck the guys.

Men on the other hand only have one respond to being rejected. They try to rescue their ego. Seriously.

When a woman gets rejected, she blames herself. But when a man gets rejected, he will blame everything but himself. He’ll even blame Albino’s for making him look too tanned, or KFC for the added calories.

You turn a man down and your name will forever be reverberated amongst his friends as “that bitch”. And only two days ago you were to him, the hottest girl ever or ‘THE ONE’, and now the opening sentence to your story will be,

Who the fuck does she think she is…that bitch.”

Women just cry. Men just try to play down everything to save a bruised ego. They’ll tell you that actually it wasn’t so much of ‘love’, but more of ‘like’ and it will keep going until it becomes ‘I just thought you were pretty interesting’. If you push on further, he’ll eventually tell you it was your sneakers that he was really interested in, you were just the free gift with it.

When Cake told me she was in love with me, my immediate response was to tell her how much I was in love with myself as well and hoped that we’d spin a ‘I love Butterfly’ conversation. That didn’t materialize and when I told her,

I don’t love you. But I like your company.”

That didn’t work out either, because she was smart enough to decipher my coded ‘I don’t love you’ message. She started crying so I thought sex would make things better.

It didn’t. We’re apparently not allowed to joke after sex either.

She didn’t bother about how much of an asshole I claimed to be, it only mattered to her that I didn’t love her. On the contrary, when my guy friends recount to me on the times they got rejected, they always seem to ensure me that,

1. The girl wasn’t worth their time
2. The girl was probably a slut and she has a penis dissolving disease.

Men, you just gotta’ love em’.

6 Comments:

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