Thursday, October 13, 2005

Drunk Friends Stories- Part Deux

The Most Glamourous Vomiting Award

I've always associated puking to being unglam, who doesnt. Nobody likes to be seen puking, and i dun think anybody loves to puke, save for those bulimic bonebags (If u plan on puking wat u eat, then why bother eating!?) I dun get it.. if its the taste of food, then just chew and spit.. u dun have to go thru the agony of puking, unless of cos ya G-spots in ya throat, and vomiting stimulates it then.. puke off.

Well, the heroine and uncontested winner to date is my dearest Huixx. Its been over 5 years ago so youth is always the excuse. This happened during our 2 month stint at Citibank, on one of our nite out at Boat Quay. Hey dun shoot me the 'eee u go Boat Quay' look, for fucks sake, it was at a time when Boat Quay WAS the place to be.

Huixx and i joined this whole other group of people, whom we actually hardly knew. We knew this gal XW, whom i have a story to tell abt, and she introduced us to her frends who bought drinks. As one of the only females, Huixx was faced with round after round of drinks.

I'll skip to the part. So the nite ends. Huixx and I walk out to take a cab. Huixx is walking very slowly, as usual. I sit down at some curb to wait for her. She walks... suddenly, turns to her left, pukes for like 2 secs, turns a round, flips her hair, and says straight to me "Don't u fucking tell anyone!" Its a scene right out of a Gucci and Johnny Walker collaboration runway fashion show. Huixx made Gisele look like a newbie on audition for ANTM ( for those who don't watch TV...Its America's Next Top Model, u shld seriously start watching TV.. this is the shit!). Im sorry i jus have to mention it cos i jus saw the show.

Horkay, now i say why i had to tell this story. Firstly cos i need to keep up the blogging fever and secondly, its part revenge cos Huixx almost got me killed cos she accidentally blurted out a secret. This has no relation wadsoever to the main story but i jus tot i'll be fun to say. Since this guy currently owes us money and he isn't paying...

This JC mate of mine, i shall call him Circle, told me about one of his make out stories during JC days. It was abt him and his gf making out at a cemetery. Yes u fucking read it right. A CEMETERY aka Graveyard, i dunno where they got this sickass kinky idea, but they really did it there, in the day. So there i was, this 18yr old hearing this story and he goes on about how he couldn't unhook her bra and how they were making out and got caught by this roadsweeper.

I was like 'dude, this is the best fucking thing i've heard all morning!'. And he goes 'dun tell anyone'. Right, u seriously trust an 18yr old to keep this story to himself?!?! I mean this is big, this is like finding out Oral sex isn't about dirty talking! How the fuck can u torture me by telling me to not tell anyone!?

So i did the most logical thing. I told my bestfriend, Huixx. Huixx kept the tightest lip, or so i think. Until, 1yr later at my friends BBQ party. We were just crapping about the good ole' days when Huixx just all of the sudden went, "Ya lah, anot like u meh, make out in cemetery and kenna caught."

Circle shoots me the 'Wat the FUCK!?' look. I try to play it cool, Huixx realises she blurted out the biggest secret of our year. Im sorry if u guys have better secrets, but I found out cemeteries make great places to make out, sue me and fuck off. Huixx and I neutralise the whole shit. I go, "Of cos i tell la! How u expect me not to tell!? You fucking made out in a cemetery leh!" After saying this... i realise how not interesting it seems now. I was a dumbass 18yr old.

Circle says one word. "Swee" translated as the typical Cheena response when u are speechless or cant be bothered to continue. Can be replaced be "You good" sometimes.


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