Sunday, January 15, 2006

Being sober is not good

After yesterday's round of Death mixes and enormous amount of whiskey and champagne, it made me realise why I loved being drunk so much. Sober is not good, especially when the once beautiful crowd at MoS is thining off pretty rapidly. Being sober is however good for one thing, making good judgements on who we take home to fuck at night.

We bump into two 'old' friends. Strikingly beautiful, very ample bustline, very perfect facial features. God is however fair, He gave them a dick, but they had it removed. LB and me know that, sadly not many people do. This is what sets Singaporean men and Caucasian men apart.

Local men tend to be more cautious. We eye anyone with a C cup and sharp nose suspiciously. We try to spot more tell tale signs of transsexualism, like the adams apple, large hands, etc. Ladyboys also tend to be tall and built like catwalk models, usually. Thus, local men are wary.

Caucasians on the other hand, either do not bother about the past, or they cannot tell fact from fiction. Do you know they walk into Orchard Towers not knowing what Ladyboys are? Trust me on this, Im the expert. I wrote a paper on the transsexual sex trade. You guys need to bow before me and ask me for pointers when it comes to Ladyboys.

Anyway, this Caucasian guy starts hooking up with the two girls at the bar, buying them drinks, and squeezing their asses. Which is probably the only authentic portion of their body. This is good for us cos since they have free drinks, they give us their coupons. Of cos, they are our friends, so they have to give it to us. I had to give one of them a peck on the cheek as a Happy New Year greeting. The things I do for drinks.. such a whore i am. One of them eye Zeekay lustfully.

I start standing around the bar and that guy comes up to shake my hand.

SillyGuy: "Ohhh, I am so happy. I am lucky guy tonight."
Me: "Yes you are [giggle]"
SillyGuy: "Yes yes i am. I get TWO pussies tonight."

I start giggling and laughing. He is not amused. Bad reaction.

Me: "Hey good luck for tonight, I think you'll have a GREAT time."
SillyGuy: "I think so too. I am lucky tonight."

This guy has a Euro accent, slightly Italian. Well, its all the same when they freak out and scream. Asian, American, Eskimos... they all sound the same when they scream.

There are times when you know you have the chance to make an impact on someone's life. Some point when we have the power to intervene and prevent a life changing experience for another individual. I have the power in this instance. I do not exercise my right. Good Luck.

This guy has NO idea they are Ladyboys. Which means telling him the truth might equate to him not getting any. Doesn't matter to some folks in the West, a surgical hole is a hole. On the bright side, he might have fucked a dozen thinking otherwise by now. And because he has such a smuck on his face for taking two of them home, I let arrogance consume the muthafucker.

The one super hot girl in the club is this Taiwanese/China looking chick with a guy and another girl. LB tries to be friendly with the guy, gets burn for his effort.

LB: "Your friend is very pretty."
Guy: "Anyway not your problem, don't disturb me." (sic)

Says alot for his career in PR. The girl is legitimately hot. Pity she's very tall, around my height or maybe taller. Sucks. Hordes of men try to hit on her. She ignores all and walks away. Ice queen alert. Her apparent bf/date comes later. What an asshole. If i had a girlfriend this hot, I'll never leave her general vaginal vicinity for 2 days, at least. Another reason for me to head to Taiwan or China. Too many signs..


At 5:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

get over yourself = maybe sober would put a new perspective on the non-profound crap that comes out your mouth. Perlease. maybe you should try sober and read your blog again. And i'm pissed!!

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