The Ivory dinner debacle

This is a dinner date that reminds me why I DON'T want to be in a relationship. The truth is, I'm pretty bored with Ivory already. My attention span keeps me faithful for a week, but cos she buys me dinner and presents, I extend the grace period for her case. Still, unless the person is really gorgeous, can hold a very interesting conversation or drives a car, one week is all I can muster. That's even if she's good in bed.

Ivory has been planning this all week long, and even though she was pissed with me on Wed, she still really wants to have dinner with me. Im not deducing all this, she said these to me herself. We meet at Bugis Junction and I have to take a bus there. Ok I have to bitch about this.

Public transport sucks! Did you know you have to actually stand for the ride? And we actually have to share seats with strangers? This is absurd. At least there's air-condition, or I'll really have to sue the bus company. The only saving grace is that, there's actually people to see. Now I just pray that pretty people take public transport. Its a big crowded hold up with people going, "eskew me.. eskew me".

Ivory isn't too happy with the way the date is going. Firstly because she feels I'm acting weird from the sudden withdrawal of intimacy. Over dinner, we have a talk which feels so familiar, like the ones I always have with my ex-girlfriend. Yea, the ones about me fucking things up.

Ivory: "U not gonna ask me how was my trip?"
Me: "How was your trip?"
Ivory: "Good, if it wasn't for the wedding, I'll not come back. But I also had things I wanted to settle.."
Me: "Like what?"
Ivory: "Like you.. I came back because of you."

The typical confession that makes me tongue tied. I start changing topics again and she's pissed about it.

Ivory: "What is wrong with you?"

I keep silent, then I bullshit about the whole commitment phobic thing again.

Me: "I seriously don't want to fuck up your life. I cant handle expectations well, seriously I don't want you to expect much from me."
Ivory: "I'm not! I just want us to hang out like we used to. I'm giving you your space, all I want is your attention and for you to sometimes spare a thought for me."
Me: "I'm just afraid of people getting too attached to me.. it makes me uncomfortable."

She tells me about the people who tried to hit on her that night at MoS and how she's been conversing with a couple of them. She says one of the caucasian guy stays in BKK and they've exchanged numbers. I say, "sounds good, I bet they're great in bed and they have huge dicks. So you won't need me." She stares VERY PISSED. I say, "Worst.Re..act..ion Ever.", doesn't aid matters. Whatever, if you have a stick up your ass and you can't take jokes, stay away from me.

Ivory: "Im not THAT into you.. Im not gonna kill myself or anything, you're not worth it, don't flatter yourself."
Me: "Well thats good."
Ivory: "I just hope that sometimes you'll say nicer things to me."

Ivory: "You know, I was looking forward to this all week long. And you just fucked it all up!"
Me: "..."
Ivory: "You're just weird, I dunno what is wrong with you. You're acting as if we're strangers.. I mean com'on, you fucked me!"

At this instant, the waiter serves the food. The poor boy is in shock and he after that, he goes to tell the other waiters. Im so sure about that, cos all of them were standing around STARING at us. That guy is going to be a snitch, we have to kill all snitches.

Me: "Okay you know what, I'm really sorry.. let's just erase the last 2 hours and start again. I have my PMS days"
Ivory: "Then don't fucking take it out on me."
Me: "Hey look, Im trying to make this better.. don't make this worse. I don't have a temper, but if you keep pushing it, you'll see it.

Then we go silent. In between i try to look very pissed and angry, while trying very hard not to laugh at the same time. I did the eye rolling thing quite a bit and considered for a moment if i should flare my nostrils. We said tons of stuff in-between. Alot of them bordering on couple talks, like about priorities and spending time together. Then I attempt to end it.

Me: "This talk is stupid, it's precisely why I don't want to be attached to anyone."
Ivory: "Yes I know, thats why I'm giving you space."
Me: "No seriously, if I'm screwing you up so badly and you don't think its worth it, then we should just move on. I really don't want anyone having expectations of me, cos I'm only good at fucking that up."
Ivory: "No you're not, I just said it so that I won't put pressure on you.."

I stare at her. Thank God she's paying for dinner. I should have gone for the fish instead of the carbonara. The whole fucking conversation is stupid and pointless. And she's constantly contradicting herself. Basically, she just wants me to know that as much as she's mad about me, she doesn't want that to be a pressure factor. I decide that I shall continue to be an asshole until I can figure a way to handle this, or for her to tire of me.

In another light, this could be the scenario between me and Minori. FUCK.

I piss her off even more when I tell her Im meeting the guys at night and that she can't come along. Of cos, I lie about it being a gathering and stuff. She's upset that I can't make time for her, and that I have my priorities wrong. I use my favourite line.

Me: "SEE!! THIS IS PRECISELY WHY I DON"T WANT TO BE ATTACHED!"

Its a good line. She backs off. Then of cos I end up bumping into MissBangs and the Jap MILF at MoS. The MILF is looking good, will like to fuck her, but...must...control. Well, so much about lying about the gathering. See, people should never lie, we end up getting caught for it.