Monday, July 02, 2007

The Roof and Shoe Story

It’s amazing how there’s a silver lining for even the most embarrassing moments you unwittingly subject yourselves to.

It was a Sunday night unlike any other. Cool light breezes that really didn’t give me any reason to be heavily panting from 10mins of soccer running. It’s a kind of physical state of being that has taken me years of inactivity and a lot of binge drinking to attain. Nothing is by accident.

KR is back from back from New York on holiday and late evening soccer was but a guised opportunity to sit down and debate over which is the best way to wipe your ass after a dump in between regaled tales of TheCaptain's misadventures.

We decided to head home for a shower before re-grouping for dinner and so we drove. 10 mins of alternating breaks and mild acceleration and we finally stopped at the intersection of Bartley Road and Upper Serangoon Road, when a car with 3 guys and one very cute girl pulled up next to me, frantically waving and pointing at my car.

It's the situation where you as the driver take a mild panic pill and wonder if it's a flat tyre, failed break lights, an open trunk or you've been dragging a Bangla worker down the road for the last 50 metres. Puzzled and driven largely by the sheer euphoria of having a cute girl wave frantically at me, I quickly wound down my window.

Girl: "You have a shoe on top of your car!"
Me: "A WHAT?!"
Girl: "A SHOE!!"

This was greeted with a pandemonia of laughter erupting between LB, KR, Totti and me. My next immediate reaction was hurling abuses at my friends.


We start bursting out into laughter again as KR slides his hand up to retrieve the shoes. It's the kind where we're laughing off the embarassment given the fact that I had driven that distance with s pair of street soccer shoes plastered on my roof. This shoe's got grip that's for sure.

LB nudges me,

LB: "Dude, I think the girl wants to talk to you.."

I turned to see her mouth something at me behind her glass. I wound down my window again and signalled for her to do the same. I was half expecting her to ask "are you Butterfly.." or something remotely close to my identity.

Me: "What?"
Girl: "Are you straight or are you AJ.."

I swear that was what I heard.

Me: "Am I straight or am I what?"

I inched my self closer out the window.

Girl: "Are you straight or are you a gay?"

It's sort of an unorthodox pickup if you ask me. We're stopped infront of the traffic light waiting for it to turn green and she's interested to know my sexual orientation? Girls are indeed weird.

Me: "Straight.."

She giggled. I re-assess our situation. I have two guys in the back seat. One of them is topless. We're giggling like bitches at a shoe being left on top of the car. I lack any sense of manliness. Yep, I believe we actually qualify for the gay society. All we need are leather pants and I'd safely say we've got ourselves a new career option.

Me: "Why? Is that the gay mobile?" [pointing to their car]
She: "YES!!"

And her car ruptures into secondary school giggles.

Me: "I'm fucking heading over.."
LB: "Wah, you just got picked up at a traffic light..."

I winked at her, she smiled and she waved to me again... and her asshole of a jealous male driver friend sped off. I don't know about you but we have a new method of picking up chicks on the roads now.

All you need is a pair of good gripping sneakers and you'd find your wife at the next traffic light junction.

P.S : If you happened to be that girl, we all think you're cute and we want to thank you for rescuing KR's shoe. We're thanking only you.


At 12:16 AM, Blogger The Horny Bitch said...

If only I drive.... Freaking hilarious! hahaha

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