Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Best Afternoon Entertainment Ever

I wake up to the best SMS message in the longest time, and its the most romantic thing a stranger has said to me in a while. The SMS reads, "Wanna Sex Tonight?" I kid u not people, i excuse the poor English for the captivating content it has. Now i know why my GP teachers always emphasize on the substance of our papers over the ability of the English language.

The SMS is from some strange no. which is not stored in my phone. I've seen one too many episodes of Punk'D to fall entirely for it, and i've had tons of strange people messaging me before, but none with such an 'A+' content. I decide that waking to this is worth my time and effort.

I reply, "And who the Fuck may u be?"

While waiting for a reply, i start telling the guys on MSN abt the SMS.

Reply comes in, "The gal of ur dreams. Making u a lucky boy tonight." The content is less engaging, but enuff for me to continue our SMS sex.

ME: "Lucky boy in my context would be striking 4D tonight. U on the other hand wld be the lucky one if u hook up with me."

I wait barely a min. Horny Mystery Gal (HMG), as i've decided to name her, replies, "Can u handle me? I know i can definately (spelling error here for her) take u in entirely." Ok, HMG is good at innuendos, but her spelling even with the aid of the predictive text is fucked. Thankfully, i rank my gals on their boob sizes, looks and ability to flirt shamelessly, i overlook bad spelling and poor English when i see effort being put in. Im typing out the EXACT words she sent.

ME: "Oooh I smell a challenge.. Bring it on!"

The reply stops. I bitch to Sue about how my afternoon SMS sex conversation has come to an abrupt end. LB comes to pick me from my place to head out to buy feeder fish.

HMG finally replies, "10@ Raffles Hotel". Ohhh she took so long cos she was making hotel arrangements? I forgive her immediately.

ME: "Why not now? Im impotent after 9pm. U better be pretty, I cannot fuck ugly people. Its just wrong. My dick will not be happy."

HMG: "I know u want me. U hinted to me before. Guess u already know who am i."

Rite.. this msg is probably the one that killed the game for me. LB and i go through who i could have said this to. Firstly, the people whom i've even mildly hinted to are either not in SG already, or i've prob already slept with them. And those that i've hinted to, are people i usually know. So HMG now comes up as pretty much a phony. I pretty sure i've not hinted to anyone of late so my concern now is flushing out the real person behind HMG. LB is telling me things to say.

ME: "Wats my name?". I figured that this could be some random SMS prank. Yes people are that childish.

HMG: "XXX". She/he nails it with the correct spelling.

Using my Sherlock deductions, i figured that this has to be someone i know or is a friend of someone i actually know. Not that my name's hard to spell but there are couple of variations to it. And plus I dun give my no. out to people in clubs, so this has to be an inside job. Elementry my dear.

ME: "Wahahaha tell me who are u pretty plsss"
HMG: "See u tonight"
ME: "Do i even know u?"
HMG: "Duh... U are an arts student in nus"
ME: "Are u in NUS too?
HMG: "Nope.. U wish"

Right, so HMG isnt an arts student, but the content is slowly losing its appeal to me.. where are the sexual connotations? where are the KEY words like 'SEX' ? Im now just curious on who HMG really is.

Com'on, hands up if u wish such things happen to u, getting a sms from someone asking u if u wanna fuck them. Be honest, who doesn't? Its like waking up on X'mas morning and ya parents tell u they bought u a stripper to play with at nite, but we cant unwrap her till 10pm. Fuck, i hate waiting. Nobody teases me, I do the teasing ard here! Sorry, I now belong to a special group of boys who recieve kinky SMSes, I now spit at "good morning hows ya day?" type of msgs.

Half of me is hoping that in my drunkard stupor i hooked up wif some chick at the club, gave her my no. and totally forgot abt it. But im quite sure tt didnt happen. Fuck. I hate being sober even when im heavily intoxicated. I run thru the gals again. Shit. The possible ones are foreigners who's SMS would probably go something like, "I is really want u.. i waiting u in hotel." The local chicks i know wld not need the annonymity.

I decide to call HMG. The bitch does not pick up. I fucking knew it u prank playing cock teasing bitch! Ok, back to story.

ME: "Pick up the fucking phone, cock teaser"
HMG: "No.. Im busy. Can't u wait for tonight?"
ME: "Nope, i dun meet strangers. Im shy"
HMG:"I'll find out later.."
ME: "Maybe.. just maybe. Call me then we'll see."

HMG is losing the enagement she had me with her first couple of msgs. I'm bored. It happens. I suffer from having a short attention span, could be the loss of key phrases. It's been at least 6 sms and she's not said anything romantic like ' i want u right now' or a 'fuck me good tonight' would have be sweet to commemorate our 8th SMS exchange. Ahh fuck HMG, Butterfly is bored.

HMG: "U dun really sound keen. Shall i give a pass on u?"

ME: "I dun even know who u are, for all i know, u could be some big ass guy waiting to fuck my virginal ass. Call me then we'll see."

That ended my afternoon entertainment. I was gonna meet this other gal from the club that nite so i didnt follow up. Com'on who in their right mind wld. Its a prank, but it did give me some entertainment, and on a self reflection note... i think i better start remembering people i meet.

13 Comments:

At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Something fascinating about your blog.
I'm gonna have to bookmark your site and come back for more...
I have a site about wood dog house, and wood dog house related stuff.

Maybe you want to come check out my blogs...
Feel free to let me know what you think!

Keep up the excellent work.

 
At 9:17 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, nike outlet, prada handbags, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors, michael kors outlet, louboutin shoes, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, replica watches, burberry outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, nike air max, nike free, longchamp, replica watches, nike air max, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, louboutin, louis vuitton outlet, burberry, louis vuitton

 
At 9:20 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin pas cher, coach purses, hogan, michael kors, sac longchamp, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, vanessa bruno, abercrombie and fitch, coach outlet, sac guess, hermes, ralph lauren pas cher, coach factory outlet, michael kors, lululemon, nike blazer, nike air max, nike free, ralph lauren uk, air force, new balance pas cher, air jordan pas cher, true religion jeans, converse pas cher, nike roshe, north face, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, michael kors, michael kors, ray ban uk, nike free run uk, oakley pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, timberland, kate spade handbags, tn pas cher, coach outlet, longchamp pas cher, air max, north face, mulberry, burberry, true religion outlet, hollister

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

babyliss, north face outlet, north face outlet, giuseppe zanotti, s5 cases, nike roshe, louboutin, baseball bats, valentino shoes, beats by dre, ferragamo shoes, iphone 6 plus cases, ipad cases, bottega veneta, iphone 6s cases, hollister, mont blanc, nike huarache, birkin bag, iphone 6s plus cases, chi flat iron, vans shoes, nfl jerseys, soccer shoes, mcm handbags, hollister, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, timberland boots, lululemon, ralph lauren, new balance, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, jimmy choo shoes, herve leger, nike trainers, reebok shoes, iphone cases, insanity workout, oakley, p90x workout, longchamp, wedding dresses, asics running shoes, iphone 5s cases, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, ghd, mac cosmetics

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg boots uk, converse outlet, lancel, gucci, swarovski crystal, hollister, barbour, moncler, nike air max, canada goose outlet, links of london, ugg pas cher, converse, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, barbour jackets, pandora charms, pandora charms, sac louis vuitton pas cher, pandora jewelry, vans, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, swarovski, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, karen millen, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, coach outlet, michael kors outlet online, montre pas cher, michael kors handbags, supra shoes, toms shoes, wedding dresses, moncler, doke gabbana outlet, moncler, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger Minko Chen said...

cheap uggs
canada goose jackets
ralph lauren outlet
ugg clearance
ralph lauren outlet
thomas sabo outlet
michael kors factory online
michael kors outlet
prada sneakers
rolex watches
nike roshe
air max 2014
ralph lauren,polo ralph lauren,ralph lauren outlet,ralph lauren italia,ralph lauren sito ufficiale
ugg boots uk
instyler ionic styler
cheap soccer jerseys
ray ban outlet
longchamp outlet
ugg outlet
1205minko

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger John said...

cheap toms
canada goose
polo ralph lauren
coach outlet
lebron 12
cheap toms
giuseppe zanotti
prada handbags
kobe 8
ugg outlet
michael kors outlet online
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ugg outlet online
cheap air max
michael kors outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
cheap air jordans
uggs boots
ugg outlet
chanel bags
michael kors handbags
micheael kors outlet
ralph lauren uk
ugg sale
coach factory outlet online
oakley outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
ugg boots on sale
louis vuitton outlet
retro 11
fitflop clearance
ugg boots outlet
canada goose outlet store
discount jordans
louis vuitton
tods outlet store
ugg boots
2016302yuanyuan

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

christian louboutin uk, louis vuitton, kate spade outlet, christian louboutin, jordan shoes, christian louboutin shoes, longchamp outlet, nike free, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, tiffany and co, uggs outlet, replica watches, chanel handbags, nike air max, nike air max, gucci handbags, longchamp outlet, ugg boots, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet online, prada outlet, prada handbags, polo outlet, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, ray ban sunglasses, uggs outlet, ugg boots, burberry handbags, nike outlet, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

michael kors outlet, abercrombie and fitch uk, jordan pas cher, longchamp pas cher, ray ban pas cher, converse pas cher, polo lacoste, hollister uk, nike blazer pas cher, air max, nike tn, michael kors, polo ralph lauren, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, replica handbags, hollister pas cher, sac hermes, nike free uk, true religion outlet, new balance, michael kors pas cher, ray ban uk, nike air max, timberland pas cher, guess pas cher, hogan outlet, nike roshe run uk, michael kors, louboutin pas cher, mulberry uk, sac longchamp pas cher, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, true religion jeans, coach outlet store online, lululemon canada, coach purses, burberry pas cher, north face uk, nike free run, oakley pas cher, kate spade, coach outlet, ralph lauren uk, sac vanessa bruno, nike roshe, nike air force, north face, vans pas cher

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

instyler, hollister clothing, beats by dre, s6 case, nike roshe run, nike huaraches, ralph lauren, new balance shoes, oakley, iphone cases, bottega veneta, iphone 6 plus cases, nfl jerseys, abercrombie and fitch, nike air max, babyliss, north face outlet, herve leger, iphone 6 cases, insanity workout, ghd hair, asics running shoes, valentino shoes, nike trainers uk, hermes belt, longchamp uk, soccer jerseys, vans outlet, jimmy choo outlet, giuseppe zanotti outlet, hollister, celine handbags, wedding dresses, baseball bats, ipad cases, iphone 6s cases, mac cosmetics, mont blanc pens, timberland boots, north face outlet, p90x workout, iphone 5s cases, louboutin, lululemon, mcm handbags, iphone 6s plus cases, reebok outlet, chi flat iron, ferragamo shoes, soccer shoes

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg,uggs,uggs canada, ray ban, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, thomas sabo, canada goose, moncler, moncler uk, converse outlet, canada goose uk, moncler outlet, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton, karen millen uk, converse, swarovski crystal, louis vuitton, vans, canada goose, canada goose outlet, replica watches, lancel, moncler outlet, canada goose jackets, barbour, ugg pas cher, hollister, louis vuitton, moncler, marc jacobs, canada goose, pandora charms, pandora uk, ugg uk, swarovski, hollister, juicy couture outlet, moncler, supra shoes, wedding dresses, moncler, coach outlet, montre pas cher, canada goose outlet, nike air max, pandora jewelry, barbour uk, canada goose outlet, ugg, pandora jewelry, gucci

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger chenlina said...

chenlina20160618
michael kors outlet clearance
cheap nfl jerseys
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton bags
oakley sunglasses outlet
vans shoes sale
rolex submariner
coach outlet store online
polo ralph lauren
louis vuitton outlet
ray ban wayfarer
ralph lauren outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
jordan 13
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton outlet
true religion jeans
coach outlet store online
jordan 3 white cenment
tiffany and co
burberry outlet
ray ban sunglasses
ralph lauren outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
true religion
ray ban sunglasses discount
nike air max
fitflops
christian louboutin sale
ralph lauren uk
nike free run
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
adidas superstar
fitflops sale clearance
oakley sunglasses
authentic louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton outlet
true religion sale
as

 
At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Obat Penyakit Jantung Bengkak said...


thank you very helpful article. allow me to join to share health articles with your article hopefully useful.

Pengobatan Penyakit Polip
Pengobatan Epilepsi Dengan Bahan Alami
Cara Mengobati Rematik
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Trigliserida Tinggi
Pengobatan Berbagai Macam Luka Sampai Tuntas
Cara Mengobati Paru-Paru Basah

 

Post a Comment

<< Home