Monday, October 31, 2005

Butterfly and friends invade KM8 pool

This is the most fun Sunday at the beach ever. Its always fun when i drink beyond the legal driving limit. Its always good when cheapskates like us, bring our own liqour, pre-poured into a plastic bottle and mixed with a jug of coke. We make the strongest mixers ever.

LB, Huixx and me reach KM8 close to 4pm. The Body (TB) and Reznor is already there. Miss Model(MM), GT4 and his cousin Sispec joins us later in the day. By sunset, we've already finished both bottles of Absolut Vanilla and Kurant, playing games like 'I've never', 'the no. game'... tooo many to even write out. Games are ALWAYS fun when the group is bordering on drunkness. I laugh my ass off watching the others.

The party really starts only after it gets dark and only after we start getting into the pool. The pool at KM8 is the equivalent of a vice enclave. Every fucking shit happens in the pool, and everything falls under the norm. Its the only fucking legal place to grope strangers and get away wif it. I love the pool, even though its murky and im pretty sure dozens have peed in it.

Huixx is the magnet. U cannot fucking let her outta ya sight cos irritating ang mohs just swamp in. And caucasians are the fucking thickest skinned people in the pool. They do not know when they're rejected and they cannot take NO for an answer. This asshole was soooo into Huixx that we had to actually push him away. And he goes off complaining to me how Huixx was so into him and wat a cock teaser she is. I quote...

Ang Moh: "YA frend is such a cock teaser man. First she comes up to me , she's like telling me to help her take a picture and how she only gets cute men to take pictures for her, and now she's telling me no!"
ME: " Ya dude, she's like that."
Ang Moh: "U know wat the problem is? U Asian men are too overprotective of ya women."
ME: "Dude, she was saying NO. You do realise it ya?
Ang Moh: "Nooooo, she was sooo into me man."

I fuck u not, he actually thinks its a role playing shit that Huixx is putting him thru. I dun get it? How many times does he want to run through the gauntlet of rejection? He TRIES to hit on TB and MM, fails big time. I tell him, "Tough luck eh?" Ang Moh here does not get the hint, he replies, "Yep. They don't know what they're missin' " Im so sure they teach rejection therapy overseas in schools. The words "fuck off" to him would probably mean 'I have a chance' to him.

This guy in the pool starts offering Reznor drinks, I dunno what drink its called but its this lemonade tasting pussy drink. Is there even fucking alcohol in it? I offer him our drink whcih is a Wicked mix of 200ml Absolut Vanilla, 200ml Absolut Kurant, 100ml Absolut Cranberry and like 50ml coke diluted with water. Its fucking nasty. GT4 brings the jug to me and tells us to drink. I that a sip and i say, "Worst.Drink.Ever", TB takes a sip, "Worst.Drink.Ever." Nuff said.

Anyway, back to this guy. So i offer him our potent killer and the fucker takes a gulp. Bad thing to do. He comes to tell me. "Dude, that shit was nasty! Its poison man. Its poison!". We joke abt how he offers me a pussy drink and i give him a potent shit in return. I dunno, whats the use of drink pussy lemonade and hope to get high on citrus? Fucks sake man, just OD on vitamin C or something.

We make samll talk and he introduces himself.
Luigi: "What your name?"
Me: "XXX and u?"
Luigi: "Luigi" (I fuck u not... people i guess u know whats coming next.)
Me: "So how's Mario"

Luigi shoots me the look. He's heard this one too many times and he's not amused. My wit is seriously curbbed by the alcohol. Yes im being corny, but com'on, how often u meet someone called Luigi? I forgive myself.

Luigi tells me he's driving so he cant drink. I tell him we're all driving too. And he asks what am i driving. I say, "a car?" and it cracks him up. Funny... i didnt think it was the least bit funny. My potent shit of a drink is fucking up his sense of humour. I asks if he's working and he says yes, and i be and asshole again and i say "at a pizza place?". I better stop.

We start making frends with random people in the pool, most of which is not of the same race as me. Im Chinese. I love Chinese. There's this actress Debra Teng that was there too. She's the teacher in Moulmein High, the hot teacher with the boobs. GT4 offers her a drink and i go over to make small talk wif her cos i was trying to flirt wif her but i cant really make out if she's even looking at me. I smile anyway. She's not so pretty up close, she tells me she's waiting for her drink which has some fanciful name which starts wif Vodka. I say, "sounds pussy".

Before we know it, GT4 and Sispec is joining us in the pool. A round of applause cos they have NO change of clothes. Everyone starts having this piggy back wrestling match. The gals climb onto the shoulders of the guys and and they start wrestling each other, whoever falls into the pool loses. My partner is TB. We are unbeatable cos we kick EVERYONES ass! TB does Muay Thai so she's already like Bruce Lee to the other gals. So when u pair Ong Bak TB with superman me, u get champions. Sorry, im now crowned champion of the pool, i should be given free fries.

Then two ang moh men start giving each other wedgies, one soon becomes naked. Yes, i see penis. Ugly naked angmoh starts pulling the others shorts. They look like giant retarded gays figuring how to undress. Whatever the case, naked people are always good entertainment.

Round two of the wrestling thingy starts again. The guys keep poking me to make me lose. Everyone hates winners, i forgive u assholes! Haha. And again, we kick asses. Some Ang Moh couple steps up and the fight gets intense, but the boucers break up the match for some reason. I dun understand, people get naked and its ok, and we cant wrestle? A penis goes a long way obviously. The Ang Moh comes over to tell us that we're very strong. Duh. Im the strongest man on sentosa. Im kidding, and i obviously say thank u. Im not even gonna try some smart ass answer, cos he can prob break my neck in 2 secs.

Imagine the pool to be one big ball room, where its those kinda dance where we keep switching partners, cos everyone floats around from. Everyone's a butterfly. Huixx is already getting it on wif Luigi. I go over to them and Huixx tell him how its been so long but we've never had sparks and thats y we're buddies. Luigi tells me, "u jus dun see it". Ohh, i see it, but he obviously doesnt cos i forsee his ass being played. So much for pizza boy.

This gal, Margaret comes up to me and goes, "so who has a tattoo?". I'm the only one in the group who has one so she drags me to this other guy and he tells me only bad people have tattoos. This guy is so not funny. He has a tattoo of his name across his lower back. Watever, its good for me anyway cos Margaret and me hit it off. Everyone has this habit of asking me how old i am, she obviously cannot escape this trend.

Me: "Might be older than u"
Margaret: "Definitely not possible"

I hate it when women say this to me. This is the third person in a month whose said this to me.

Margaret: "You are 24? Im 32"

I go like, "fuck get outta here", "Nooooo way.", "Dun fuck with me babe", every one of those lines lah, but still dun change the fact that she's 32. She probably had her first fuck before i learnt about masturbating and she prob smoked before i even knew wat 7-11 was. Just great, i had to pick the oldest chick in the pool. Dun they have age limits? Pools should be strictly 25 and below, C cups and above get exceptions, and limited to good looking people like us. Horny men shld be shown to the cubicles, plenty of tissue paper there.

Margaret here has probably gone thru the japanese occupation. She tries her best to convince me she's not lying by reciting her IC no. "S73...." I'm like fuck... stop babe stop.. ya making things worse. My mum could have been her classmate. In all fairness, every part of her A/B cup frame is still holding up well.

I get a serverely bruised chin cos LB pushed me into the pool and i hit my chin on GT4's head. Its been 3 hrs and my hands are pretty much like prunes already. The crowd's slowly dwindling anyway so we called it a night.

Had supper at Katong, was hoping for Katong Laksa at 12midnight, stupid thought i have. Supper was more of a karaoke sing-a-long cos we were randomly singing along to some oldies that was playing at the karaoke pub next door. The guys in the next table were staring at us. Everyone hates the noisy group. I love my drunk noisy group.

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