Saturday, October 29, 2005

Butterfly goes partying with Gals

I've never gone partying with a group of gals (more than 2) before, excluding the times when i've accompanied my ex-gf to her drinking sessions with her air stewardess friends, where im more like a valet but become the party when i start telling them my funny stories. In any case, I've never as far as i can remember, gone out wif a bunch of gals to a club. I jus dun like it, not that i sway the other way, dun get me wrong, i love women only. I prefer to have guys around, so that i dun have to be the only one protecting the gals.

I'm bad at protecting people. Am i supposed to fend off guys hitting on the gals? I know I wouldn't want gals fending off other gals for me. In any case 2 more logical reasons stand out.
1. Going partying with a group of attractive gals means that NO other gal in the club is gonna hit on u tonite.
2. I hate it when im not the prettiest one in the group.

Rite, so to the story proper. LB aeroplaned me last nite. I hated him for 17mins until alcohol started to plead leniency for him.

I went drinking wif The Body, Sue and Miss Model ( im not being sarcastic, she really is a model, her portfolio pictures are like 'wow'. Pretty much just the pictures. ). Foremostly, i didn't really think i was gonna enjoy the nite much. For starters, I'm definitely not gonna hook up wif anyone tonite, and i cant drink too much cos i have to taxi everyone. I hate being the guy. Not jus because we cant have multiple orgasm.

I waste no time on the alcohol. Johnny is, and will always be my best friend at the club. I get a jug of Whiskey Dry. As usual. I tell them we cannot drink the same drink for the entire nite.

Sue is asking me drink to get next. She wants to try Midori Sprite, cos i was telling her how nice it is. Ok side story here, Sue actually thought i invented the drink cos Midori is similar to Minori, and she thought i made the drink up in my lovelorn state. Ignorant little gal. Sue ask the waitress and she's told its $13. I go, "$13 for a jug or glass?". Turns out its for a glass. Holy Cow! Since when did Midori cost more then petrol?! Sue gets it anyway. She's happy with it and tells me its HER drink from now on. Im glad i make impact on people's lives.

I get a round of Blowjob and explain the proper way to drink it. Yeah, i can imagine myself, teaching gals how to give head. Anyway, for the uninitiated, ya have to mouth the shot glass, without using ya hands, tilt the glass up and drink the damn thing. Sounds much easier than it really is, trust me. I give a demo, the The Body tries. The shot glass is tooo big for her to bite. She has a small mouth.. really small. Sue gives it a try, and falters on the first attempt. The Body is STILL trying. Sue takes the second shot and chokes. Yea, the drink shoots right to ya head. The Body (TB) gives up and takes the shot normally.

I need more drinks. I get another round of Lychee Martini. I drink two glasses and tell them to head down stairs for the RnB.

The moment we get there, irritating men start picking the gals up. These guys come up to Miss Model (MM) and start off with the most boring pickup lines ever. "My friend wants to know you." Com'on, u can do better than that! Those are fucking secondary school lines and these guys were at least in their mid twenties.

2nd wave of Irritating Buzzing Males (IBM) comes, TB is the best mother hen EVER. She tells the guys and i quote.

TB: "What u want?! Dun waste your time lah, She won't be interested in u la!"

Talk about a dent in the male ego. Hostility is TB's greatest asset in the club. She's helping the gals fend IBMs. I really dun give a fuck about who gets picked up. Sue really needs the pick up to get over a chapter in her life. MM has too many pick ups. TB looks like she'll kill anyone who picks her up. Nuff said.

I get a round of Apple shooters. The bartender tells me theres no such drink. WTF?! I remember clearly that there is. I try.. "Sour Apple?" he shoots me a "what the fuck are we? Fruit drink stall?" look. I give up. i order Illusion. Illusions here come in a freaking glass.. a tall freaking glass with ice.. i thought illusions were shooters?! Fuck it, i drink it like a shot anyway.
Hmm, am i still ok to drive? I recount on the stuff i've drank. Yep, i think i crossed the legal limit awhile back. Since there's no return.. I continue my drinking frevor.

I get Barcardi 151 for TB and me. This shit should be enough for me. We finish it. Fuck i hate the taste. TB complains its burning her throat. I tell her, "Worst.Drink.Ever". Wait, why am i drinking so much again? I havent even checked out the fishes at the club. What the fuck is wrong with me. I know that there's this gal from NUS whom i think is really cool (plus she has a similar hair style to me. Plus points always). Oh ya... im alone tonite. The closest thing to my fisherman tonite is Sue, who warns me she'll get emo if she drinks too much.

I get a glass of beer and a jug of Screwdriver of which im pretty sure 2/3 is drunk by me. TB tells me she's passed her halfway mark if drunkness. MM is dancing with this gal, and Sue is blending in with some tall guy group which she tells me are Soumi's frends. Good for her, the slamdunk team here is perhaps the only group physically eligible to hook up wif her.

I start taking random pics with this hairy Indian guy in a belly dancers attire, im not fucking kidding. Its NOT a halloween get up, neither is he employed by the club for any event. This guy is the shit! All the gals start dancing with him. WTF? I so fucking gonna club in a bra top next time.

TB starts vomitting... its a sign to tell me the party's over. TB is the most discreet puker ever! She makes it look like she's drinking, but she's actually puking into the glasses. I fuck u not. MM actually drinks on of TB's puke glasses cos it looks like beer with froth. EEwwww fuck!! I pity the person who kisses her tonite. She's loses points, Ho's that drink other people's puke and not know abt it gets demerit points for me, no matter how big ya cup size is.

In any case. The nite pretty much ends like that.. Its a tame tame nite for me but MM is raving abt how fun it is and shit. This gal obviously hasnt been out much. Dancing teletubbies would thrill the shit out of her.


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At 4:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What u want?! Dun waste your time lah, She won't be interested in u la!"

TB sounds like an asshole. Just because those men find the other girls more attractive doesn't mean she has to get all jealous, petty & insecure about it.

Seriously, if some feminist asshole like her says that to me, I'll jam my pen so deep into her throat, she won't even have time to call for her daddy.


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