Chinablack.. the last resort

Everywhere's packed on a holiday eve. Zouk was packed as expected. Dbl O was probably selling National Day tix or sumthing, the queue was going round Robertson Walk. Chinablack had a queue.. i dun understand why.

The original plan was to head to Zouk, but the nite took an unexpected turn and we landed at Chinablack..with Margaret. Yes, the 32 year old war veteran. Wat are the chances of actually popping into her outside O Bar. The guys kept insisting i go over to talk to her, much against my will. I dun really like old pussies. But in a redeeming light, she actually looks MUCH better with clothes and makeup on. We invite her to head to Black with us, she says she's waiting for her friends and points to this group.

Reznor says he cant bring in that many. She had about 6 other frends, but if we're talking about going for a buffet, the group would be counted as 12pax. I tell TB, "u need to take 3 of them for a run and we need to work the other 2 with static exercises, we gotta tone those arms." Margaret finally leaves with one of her friends to join us.

Reznor makes some arrangements for Chinablack. I tell the guys that i'm telling everyone i went to Zouk tonite. We get there. I see a queue. This is good, queues are always good. I dun wan to say anything racist that will land my ass in prison and have to apologise thru the media with those 'i was dumb and foolish.. it won't happen again shit' but it's Hari Raya eve.. so my brudders are relacking in one korner.. nuff said. No melayu's.

We get there and Margaret's frend, Marcus, joins us. He was at the pool on Sunday too.. I forgot to write in his story, but his pickup techniques include giving a rundown of his life story that starts with 'when i was young'. Im not kidding. No offence to people who use this boring method, but unless your story has u smoking pot at 7, and getting ya ass arrested for streaking at a soccer match at 18, ya life story blows. Marcus however spares us his life story today and buys a bottle of vodka. Plus points for him already.

The guys get like 3 million jugs of beer. I like beer but my resolution to look have a body like Tony Jaa is telling me to stay away. I start drinking shots of beer. Ya, i drink my beer in shot glasses.. so everyone drinks the same amount. I do a quick scan of the place. Girl in red top dancing on the stage has a serious tummy problem. Maybe i shld lay off the beer. Another ugly gal goes up to join her. The crowd is fucked.. i drink faster. I take one shot for every shot the guys drink, and my mental calculator tells me that i wld have drunk at least 5 times more than whoever drinks the least and at least 2 times more than everyone else. The problem is beer.. who the fuck gets drunk on beer? I start mixing it with whiskey dry and vodka ribena. I tell LB to standby in case i flat out tonite. I start forcing GT4 and Sispec to drink, i dun understand why people have to be forced to drink when they arent driving. The alcoholic in me said that.

Sue joins us close to 1am. The nite is tame.. nothing is happening and im pretty sure nothing will happen. I go toilet and this gal taps me on the shoulder. She smiles, and she goes "oei!". My experience in human behaviour in clubs tell me that, this gal knows me. Im pretty sure strangers use the "hey" or "ermmm..." to start off conversations, unless its Pappy then the conversations always starts with 'can i buy u a drink'. Anyway, i take a look at the gal. She's not pretty, no way i could have picked her up from a club. I stare blankly, and she goes "XXXX's frend? Remember me?". Boring.. no one ever picks me up these days.

LB and me start pointing to random gals and the other goes up to talk to the gal. LB picks up this chick. Nice nose.. hmmm not so nice frends. I start dancing with Sue to some salsa moves. Im too short to spin Sue gracefully around me, so i spin myself around her. Im always the slut. Before i know it, they tell me Margaret and Marcus are gone cos their frend's a goner. A thing abt her frend. She's this petitie innocent looking gal who's so shy to even take a drink from me. When she's high, she transforms into Horny Girl. She was rubbing Marcus sooooo badly, his T shirt needs ironing. Their presence will not be missed. I have nothing to talk to Margaret anway, after her lesbo tongue wrestling with Horny Girl. I prob said one line to her the whole time we were the club, and that was "lucky u had ya tattoo.. anot couldn't recognise u".

We leave the place ard 3.30 and head for supper at Rivervalley. This other female frend joins us, Queen of Liang Siah, i shall call her QLS for short. We eat chicken rice at 5 star, which is like an NUS arts gathering. We see this whole group of gals from my sch, one of which is a hottie. The group keeps looking over.. we look back. At my state, i pretty much stare at everyone. I was staring at this China girl (read as bouncing boobies) who was walking pass us to the toilet and QLS starts laughing cos i was being such an ass.

LB and me started playing Scissors paper stone, loser drinks from the left over drinks of the previous customers cos the table has yet to be cleared. LB loses, doesnt drink. I call him a pussy. I drink and everyone freaks out, they're like "dude, who knows what was in that shit." Im like "lime juice?". They probably think im drunk. Im bored silly.. i need to entertain myself since LB has banned me from my random screaming in public and Reznor banned me from singing cabaret songs while sticking flowers in my hair. Sue decides to continue playing the game wif me. She loses, she drinks. Sue is sporting. Sue is drunk.

Service is slow. We start chatting up this waitress. I cant remember who starts calling her mei nu (pretty gal). I'm pretty sure its LB. The waitress is Frodo Baggins' sister. Im serious, i think she's a halfling and she lives in the shire, wonder how she gets back to middle earth. If u havent watched LOTR, do a google. I hope she doesnt only date men above 1.75m. She has over sized specs resting on her chubby cheeks. Im being mean i know. Its my blog, fuck off. Supper is good. No random sing a longs though.

GT4 tells me the gal at the table in green is looking at me. Alcohol fucks up my horniness. I never pass up on people staring at me to stare them back down. But for tonite, i pass. QLS demand that i carry her.. i lift her up and dump her on top of those huge huge rubbish containers. I send the westsiders home. Alcohol makes me a better person it seems.