Butterfly gets sympathy meal

I'm so sneaky, i'm using my court case and impending gazillion dollar fine as an excuse to get freebies and sympathy from girls. I actually managed to get a supper treat from a girl, because i told her that going out these days is such a chore cos everything cost money and my court fine will probably cripple me. I said all these in the aftermath of my shopping trip today, and about $100 poorer from the consequence of it.

While waiting for LB and Dek to arrange mahjong i contemplate over 3 possible dates. All of them knowing what has recently happened, and thankfully none of them reading this. I told one of them that i'm actually a social escort and dating me cost a pitiful $10 an hour. She didn't get the joke and kept asking if i was serious. I honestly considered telling her i was, and that i actually charge $20 to offset stupidity. She'd probably not get it anyway. She's not hot enough to be worth the torture. Young girls..

The potential one is pretty stingy. But since she's easily the hottest of the lot, i decided that i'll be a nice person and try to change her stingy ways. I must have looked like a bitch all night cos i pouted endlessly. I broke into laughter once cos she said one of the most classic consolation lines, I've heard to date.

She: "at least u'll learn a lesson and not drink and drive next year."
me: "ya, that's only because i WON'T be driving next year"
she: "then isn't that good? U'll be able to drink!"

She said it so matter of factly, that i wondered if she was playing dumb or just dumb. She's either got a wicked humour, or a bordering moron. I kept making my plight seem worse than it actually was, and although i've already past the upset phase, i decided to push my luck and test her limits. She eventually gave in to buying me a meal at Macs. Being sad has its perks. I'm so cheap, I lied for $5.70.

Some other consolation lines from various friends.

Reznor: "Cheer up, at least things can only get better."
Me: "Rubbish, this IS the high point of my life, things only get worse after the 29th!"

LT: "My doctor says i get panic attacks so i cant operate machinery or drive"
Me: "Yea.. i know how u feel..."
LT: "Ohh, you get panic attacks too?"
Me: "Nope, not being able to drive.."

XY: "At least u won't get into a car accident for the next year"

Ernest: "...i rather have u ard w/o your license than you getting into an accident anytime."