The Fake Boobs Story

This is the other time i almost fucked up sex.

If any one of u guys have fucked anyone with fake boobs, you'll know that imitation is never better than the real deal, unless of cos it went from A to C/D. Apparently, there's alot of care that goes into taking care of implants. One has to massage the boobs regularly to ensure that it remains soft. So i presume for penile enlargement, one has to wank off religiously everyday.

For those who worry about not being able to distinguish real boobs from implants, dun worry. You'll definitely be able to tell once the clothes come off.

I hooked up with this gal who had huge boobs, i was guessing a D cup, quite a while back. In between kissing and groping, i realised something amiss. While fondling her boobs, i found them to be alittle on the hard side. Very hard side. If anyone has touched an embalmed person before, the feeling is almost identical. It felt like i was groping a mannequin. Initially i thought it might be a strapless bra, then when i couldn't feel any bra, i thought it might be those silcon bra shit. Its only when i felt something else did i realise she wasn't wearing any. I was young, innocent and direct, so i asked if she had breast surgery.

Turns out she did and i was about to fuck someone with fake boobs. Her rock hard pups went from turn off to novelty. I was about to bed a surgically enhanced female. I now belong to a select crowd of men, who have screwed silcon Barbies. I have diversity on my 'fucked' list. I will soon be properly initiated to the world of American porn.

Then came the the most disturbing scenario.

Like the other stories, sex spirals everything downwards for me. I realised i was increasingly becoming put off by it (the boobs).

Her boobs never bounces, shakes or vibrates. It just sits nicely plastered to her chest. She found the real solution to keeping the boobs from bouncing, and its not called Sports Bra. She's on top of me straddling and all i could think off was.. 'I'm fucking a mannequin'.

I grow increasingly limp. I face an impending possibility of screwing up sex.

She asked me if everything was ok and i said might be because im drunk. Im not. I'm a liar.

She's evidently not happy because its probably only been like 5 mins. And we spend the next 10mins or so in bed, talking about breast implants. And she tells me she has to get her boob job re-done because 'they are getting hard' and she asked me if i realised it. I say, "Nope, feels ok". Im a liar.

I don't even know how to describe the boobs. U can rattle it with your fingers and i swear u can hear 'tak tak'. At that point of time, i was the only one in my group who had hooked up with silicon valley patients, so I had no one to turn to for advise. I told Huix about it and she said she didn't know of anyone who's done it before. The guys thought it was a kickass hook-up, I however stick to my words. "Turn.Off"

p.s : I however take my words back now. Having seen better end products, i conclude that breast implant is a beautiful invention.