Friday, November 11, 2005

Butterfly and Internet Dating

We've all done it at least once before. Meet people off the internet. Dun deny, i come from the age of MIRC and Alamak chat dominance. Friendster's probably one of the best ways to know random people off the net. Blaque and Reznor are masters at this, and their filtering techniques are quite.. unique.

I've never msged anyone on Friendster before, although i've been told its pretty easy to make new friends. To date, i've had close to 70 people who have taken initiatives to msg me. Im not bragging, im a net hottie HEHE. Im kidding la, if u cant take a joke, fuck off. Out of these 70, i only reply if

A) they look good in their pictures
B) the content is engaging and goes beyond "hi add me" or "Hi wanna be friends"
C) the pictures are actually them. Too many fake accounts

I've had only two authentic hotties msged me, that i can verify to be real people. I've got countless fake account msgs (or at least i think they are. The pictures are usually of people with enough calibre to be in ANTM). Firstly, hot people DO NOT msg, they wait for messages *wink*. And out of all the application to "Date Butterfly", i've met 3 of them. 2 words.. "Fucked.Up"

The thing about meeting people off the net is that, they always seem to look better in the pictures. Yes, some people look better in person, but that falls under the minority, probably the same percentage as HIV positive eunuchs. If they look shit in photos but wow in person, i'm never gonna meet them anyway cos i do not entertain people with ugly pictures. What every one of these 4 gals failed to tell me prior to our meeting is that

1. The picture was taken before they discovered Seoul Garden's All u can eat buffet.
2. They had $200 worth of Anna Sui plastered on their face. Make up is a mircale, just like how beer gets ugly people laid. Makeup gets dates for ugly people.
3. The pictures are taken under very flattering angles and light.
4. Or as my japanese princess Minori tells me, people ONLY put good pictures of themselves.

I write this because i just met one recently for supper, much against my better judgement. I've already have 2 bad experiences below my belt, and i never learn. I shall start with the first. I shall call her Eve. Eve 'found' me through Wholivesnearyou.com and i replied because she looked cute in the pics. She had bangs and quite oriental looking eyes and it was in a time when i was mad about bangs and totally in love with this model, Evelyn Sheu.

She had about 10 pictures up on her page and they looked decent at worst. After several weeks of MSN and her constant persistence to meet, i finally agreed. I was working at Suntec then for some road show and she came down to find me. Thank god i had LB with me, i'd have died if i was alone. She was almost nothing like her pic. Her eyes are the dullest thing and it reminded me of Raymond's brother in Everybody loves Raymond. I search desperately for her twin sister, the one in the pics. No twin.

Meet up no. 2. This other girl was neither pretty nor did she have a sharp nose. She looked very much like Anita Mui and her photos were very artistic. She told me she models..that explains it. It also helped that she was very chatty and funny, and plus she drives. Plus points already. She came down to meet me one day while i was doing another road show. Two words. Almost.Died.

The shit thing about them popping by is that, i have no where to run or hide. This girl, i call her Freckles, for apparent reasons. She's too plus for me. Firstly she's tall and she's not slim. Not even atheletic. She needs to leave her car home and jog to work everyday. Like contestant #1 before her. She's NOTHING like her pics. She's one of those that discovered the buffet.

And for the guys who know Miss Model and seen her Friendster pics, u'll totally understand why blind dates generally lead to much disappointment. Thats the problem with print models, they look good only on print. The last one is not even worth mentioning. Boring date with superficial conversations on generic stuff. None of my fav key words. Its good she paid for the meal. Im a slut.

I met Eve on a seperate occassion again cos she wanted to buy me supper. Worst decision i've made. She scratched my car door by hitting it on a barrier while getting out. In my vengence, i made her pay for, and i quote her, "the most expensive supper in my life".

So for all those who have had fairytale meet ups, good for u. For the rest even thinking of trying, DON'T BOTHER. Never trust pictures.

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