Butterfly argues with kid, learns new vulgarities

Children are horrible creatures. I must say, politeness is almost non existent for most kids. They've never heard of the words 'please' and 'thank you'. They stare at u bewildered if u ask them 'what must u say'?

I just had a terrible day with kids at the roadshow, at least it was entertaining and I had fun scaring the horrible ones.

The first kid on my 'to kill' list is this young boy who was so cute, he looked like the young Harry Potter. Chubby face, messy hair and dark rimmed specs. He comes up to me and go, "I want balloon". Usually i dun bother talking to them, unless they're cute and worth my time. He was worth it..

Me: "What must u say?" ( I teased the balloon in front of him, i was looking for the magic word, 'please')

Boy: "Give me the balloon.. NOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!" ( he starts shouting)
Me: "You have to say, 'please'."
Boy: "Shut up u buster! I will.. (he mumbles some inconherent shit, which sounded like 'pokemon')

I give it to him, not cos he deserved, but bcos he was making quite a scene and the last thing i want is for him to start crying.

Me: "Here u go, Voldermort."
Boy: "I have a hamster and I WILL LET HIM BITE YOU!! U SPIDER PIG PREK! (he starts mumbling again)

I was like, What the fuck, u have your balloon already HellBoy! I have no fucking clue what the fuck a spider pig prek is, and he starts his mumbling shit again. I think he is putting a hex on me. I ignore him.

Then later these two cute caucasian girls come along asking for balloons. They are about 4 yrs old, dressed in a pink dress and they look so much like angelic flower girls. That was until they started popping my balloons did i realise they were daugthers of Chucky. I see the resemblance in them when they stab my balloons. They are all sent here to punish me for being an asshole.

I tell them, "people die from bursting balloons!". They run off. I'm an asshole. I know.

I realised that only the cute kids did evil stuff like shout vulgarities and not be polite. I guess looks really allow u to get through some portion of life.

Kids are also greedy. They all want more than one balloon. I wished the balloons were filled with helium, then all the greedy kids will be up on the ceiling. Then i can tell the other kids. "See what happens when u get greedy? God takes u up to have a word with you."