Butterfly Gets The Last Laugh

It's funny how people try to get one over me but how I always find a way to get the final laugh.

The MRT Story:

Couple days back I was waking from the transit of the North East Line to the East West Line at Outram. There I was happily strolling when I started hearing "tsk" noises behind me. This was quickly followed by heavy sighing and grunting. She threw everything at me to verbally broadcast her petulance.

I of cos knew there was someone behind me because having a third eye at the back of my head is my chosen mutant ability. She was constantly shuffling from right to left, trying to find a passage through the crowd. Instead of saying 'excuse me', she barged her way through, pushing me aside.

My first thought was,

"Woohoo! Was that boobs that just grazed me?!"

Quickly followed by,

"That bitch!"

And what do I do when provoked by rude people? I bite back...

I started hastening my steps, taking longer quicker strides and because that girl is a midget on heels, I catch up to her in no time. This soon became a two way race to the platform and she quickly picked up her pace, possibly because she knew an ass whooping was coming her way. If there was a Olympic trial for speed walking held, I might have qualified.

Barely 30sec into this, I realised what too much alcohol and not enough sleep 4 hours before can do to my physical state. I started panting and could have sworn I popped a temporal vein. Since I risk dying from over-exertion, revenge is probably not worth this.

Then she HAD to cut into my path again. Was I going to win this foot race? Nope. I realised how childish this whole thing was and decided to do what all great sportsmen who are going to lose a race would do. I tripped her.

I swore it was a reflex action to lash out a kick with my right leg, catching her at the archilis. She stumbled, then immediately turn to give me a look of fervid exasperation. She was pissed. If pissness could be bought as a commodity, she would have enough to fill Noah's Ark. I started apologising profusely, then as she walked off, I giggled to myself for being such sore loser.

That bitch.

People, if your Mum complains to you about some punk tripping her at the MRT station, that would be me. She deserved it.


Girls Criticizing Me:

Girl's are weird people. They always say things that contradict themselves. They tell me stuff like,

"You make every other men look good"
"You have NO redeeming qualities.."
"Are they blind.. what do all these girls see in you.."
"I can't find anything good or faintly attractive about you.."

And you know what the irony of it is?

They all end up sleeping and falling in love with me.

The most classic thing I heard was,

"You know, I don't see why girls will want to fuck you. You're not drop dead gorgeous and you don't have a huge dick. And you say pretty mean stuff sometimes. Do girls really like guys like that? What do they see in you?"

5 mins later, she is fucking me. Here.

It never fails to amaze me why these girls love putting me down, especially in front of other guys. Well, look who's laughing now.