Butterfly trash talks, gets the guys worried

We were supposed to go for this party at Pavillion which was apparently very popular. The last I heard, ticket sales went into the thousand. Yes, no kidding, I'm told the place can accomodate 2000 people. Well, my logic was that if a place had 1.5k people, there's bound to be babes. The guys however didn't see it this way. Then we considered pub crawling, but some of them were too tired to commute, given that none of us was driving that night. See, public transport kills the life of any party.

Not driving turns out to be a good excuse to get drunk. We open a bottle at MoS and I tell them that bottles makes getting to know girls alot easier. I tell Lee to tell this girl he wants to drink with her. He gives a list of excuses beginning with, "she's not very hot", then absoultely refused to go talk to her even after losing a game and having to do a forfeit. My friends are cheaters, liars and assholes.

In defense to the girl, I thought she was decently good looking. Not very hot, probably not one that you'll notice had she been standing in a crowd, but decent enough for you to start a conversation with. So if she was not bad then why did I not make a move myself? Well, she's tall, and I don't really dig girls that threaten to put me at a vertical disadvantage. Since she's easily the hottest in her group of girls and that they are standing so close to our table, I exercise my communal spirit.

Me: "My friend here wants to drink with you." [I offer her a drink]
She: "I have my drink... where's your friend's drink?"
Me: [signalling Lee to hold up his drink] "there.."

I'm like a fucking match-maker. She turns out to be quite friendly but at the rate Im downing the liqour, I would have successfully completed a full alcohol blood transplant in under half an hour. Her friends are unfortunately not as hot don't take jokes very well. One had ample boobs and her dance made her bounce ALOT. I stare, say "wah, need sports bra" and she didn't look too pleased. I'm only trying to be of help here, look, if it jiggles when you dance, men are gonna stare anyway.. get used to it.

We drink with a vengeance, I take massive gulps in hope of getting drunk, its been a while. I meet Prissy with her friend who's this really cute girl. Turns out she's a DJ at Phuture. Her stocks definitely just went through the roof. Then all's good, till I become a really big cock magnet. At last count, I have 6 guys coming up to talk to me. Not that they were hitting on me, but because as I point out to the guys, shuffling gets ALOT of attention. The big problem is, I'm pretty high, and they are mostly non-Chinese, which means at the state I'm in, they all looked the same.

Kenn's a goner. He's drinking capabilities are about par with LB, just that he has alot more enthusiasm in confronting alcohol. He falls onto the toilet floor, can hardly stand while pissing and makes very good attempts to know girls. I give him full marks for effort in trying to hook up with this Korean.

Me bump into MissBangs and Ivory, both not too please to see me. Lee complaints about my big blow off on Ivory resulting in a simultaneous cock-block for him and MissBangs. As he puts it.

Lee: "She's not gonna fuck me simply because you fucked her friend up."

Girls are petty, they need to put aside loyalty to friends and do what lust tells you to do.

I say some other mean stuff to a couple of others that night. Mostly because they rubbed off me the wrong way. There's this very tall shank that was with us whom Lee spent alot of his time on.

Me: "I want you seated at all times when I'm talking to you."

Thankfully she's not a freeloader, cos she buys a jug of Sour Apple, which I try skulling. I am shameless when it comes to drinks.

Some girl tugs at my hair while I'm dancing, and goes "nice hair". I smile, then walk off. Not that I'm being rude, but I found nothing I could possibly complement her back on. The best thing I could have said was 'nice voice'. Her friend with her is equalling distracting. Why do I say so? Let me put it in perspective. Her upper body is decent, as in arguably slim, but her lower body told a totally different story. She's a mystical creature, she's a centaur.

Firstly, her calves are hugely thick they have to be classified under thighs. This could be Elephantitis or just too much soccer. It confused me so much I spent half the time trying to find who she had the body transplant with in the club.

By the time we left the place, Im pretty much sober, but there was still enough alcohol in me to be amused by people puking by the side of the roads and for me to stare curbs that trip me frustratingly. Sometimes, I get myself in danger of being killed.

We walk pass the bus stop which had a whole group of young punks squating around. I pass a comment.

Me: "Wah, all waiting for the bus back to Johor?"

Kenn thinks it's pretty hilarious and starts to burst out laughing. I go on taking a jab at them. Its a really silly sight to behold, cos there are seats at the bus stop, but no one is actually smart enough to seat. How much more comfortable can squating be compared to seating? Those damn Ah Bengs have really half a brain sometimes.

Lee however didn't share the hilarity of the situation. He kept dragging me away because they were staring back at us.

Lee: "Shuddup... just shut up and walk.. I don't want to die tonight."