Butterfly Games

For a while now my dating life has been all about teases, bedroom banter and horrible mess ups. Everything to me should be a game. I'm not for the straight-jacket moral prefect and my words are vulgar to those who cannot take a joke, or a game well. I've been playing dating games for a while now and I've drawn out the demons in many who's been kind enough to indulge in my sinister games.

Welcome to the Butterfly Games..

The rules are simple, I made it such that bimbo's with the brain capacity of a Barbie doll can understand this. No emotional attachments to me.

Since it's a dating, we'll be dating. I will give my full day's attention to you, you can be assured of that. My rule is that at any point of the game, any party says "I love you", the game is over. Wait.. wait there's more.

The number of games is pre-stated, and both party consents. We each propose a forfeit which has to be agreed on and the losing party has to abide by it. The forfeits are chronologically progressive in its naughty nature. That is to say in layman's term, if its a hug today, the next will be something cheekier than that, like a pat on the back or a handshake. I'm kidding, but it only gets physically naughtier.

Example:

Me: "You'll spend a day with me. By the end of the night I'll bet I'll be able to kiss you."

If I win, I get to claim my prize. If you're reading this and it rings a bell, you'll be the only one to know if I won that challenge. Hush..

Example 2:

She: "We'll guess each other's weight, the closest one wins."
Me: "If I win, you are going to blow me."

We'll each take turns to come up with something to compete on. Naturally I'm swaying all games to my advantage and I USUALLY win most of it. Maybe they allowed me to win on purpose since my rewards are WAY more interesting then theirs or that it's been a secret fanatsy of theirs to service me, either way, I rule.

Alot of people don't see the point of my games. LB frowns on it and thinks its dumb. I however love it. I always said I love the impossible probable, the experience of chance and letting yourself submerge in fantasy, in pseudo romance, where you can pull the plug anytime you want to... or fall helplessly into oblivion.

My games require an enormous mantle of guilt-free conscience. Call it escapism, call it a sick fetish, but strangely my opponents are largely attached personnels. I offer them nothing but a promise of fun and that I'll never be beaten at my game.

Some snippets of my past.. the ones that went waywardly wrong.

1. The one that dumbfounded me.

She was 20 then, matured beyond her years and an avid fan of Anorexia Weekly. Our conversations revolved around conservative teasing, none of which were interesting enough for me to remember beyond the 3 sentences. Then one night it all changed..

She: "Do you want to see my baby?"

At the time of me driving her home and me trying to decipher if 'baby' was a coy metaphor for tits or clit, nothing else really mattered. Naturally, I'd also prepared myself that 'baby' was some tubby cat or a barking pup, but this was way less enticing to think about then the first. I continue to decieve myself.

Me: "Okay.. so do I wait here for you?"
She: "Yup.. you could."

Car Sex!! This is fucking awesome! I love being me!

Then she got out of the car. Fuck car sex. Even I know that she's not going up to put on some lingerie. I await the next best possibilty, a handsome husky. I sit there, a cold shower over my brimming anticipation only a minute ago, and now... I don't really like being me.

Then it got worse..

20m out, I see her walking back with something wrapped in her arms.. FUCK me in the ass. It's really a baby. This has to be the worst prank ever. I sit there dumbfounded as she approached, getting the baby to wave at me.

Me: "Fuck you really brought a baby!"
She: "Ya, I said so didn't I?"
Me: "Is that your brother?"
She: ".... she's my daughter..."

VERY awkward silence. I half contemplate turning up the air conditioning and killing all of us in the car with monoxide fumes. That would have been a great escape. I hate being me. Dating deities obviously hate me.. ALOT

Me: "This is a joke right..."

2. When I started playing my games, I never expected a backlash on my part. I never believed I had enough conscience to feel bad or that my games would have any psychological repercussions on me. I was wrong.

It took one conversation to mind fuck me for a period. This is the conversation that fucked me up. Here.

After that, I went on an "everyone is a slut" campaign. One good sex session later, I forget about everything and the world is perfect again.

3. The first time I played the game, it ended in 4 days. She told me she couldn't take, I quote, "your stupid games" and that she thought we should date seriously. I thought she was joking and started laughing at the absurdity of it. She didn't think it was funny. Worst.reaction.ever.

She eventually ignored me after that. Best decision of her life, that bitch.

4. The best erection killer.

This was one girl I really wanted to fuck. Everything was going smoothly, the kiss, the playful tickles, the teasing strokes on her inner thighs. I was even ignoring the tons of bikini clad babes on MTV Springbreak, trust me, it's not easy.

Then I moved in, cheekily lifting her skirt up a little and she countered with the best anti-sex defense move I've experienced since me kicking some chick in the nose.

She: "I'm a virgin.."

The vulgarity of it was a mix of repulsion and absolute fear. Deflowering her might encase serious consequences, like actual commitment. I pull her skirt back down, and leaned over to kiss her cheeks.

Me: "Let's just watch MTV."

5. The worst reward.

She: "You'll have to watch a movie with me if I win."

Huh? Catholic nuns in confession can think of more exciting bedroom stuff than that.


If you think you're good enough, step up. Of course, I don't play my games with just anyone. I have reasons and preferences. If you are fat and ugly, do not even bother unless you want to compete on who should be ostracized by society, and you're hoping the reward is a Sizzler buffet. If you are bored, hot and can surpass guilt or conscience. Thank your stars that you've found me.

Who's next?